2024-2025’s Brand New Clubs

It’s the 2024-25 school year, and a bunch of new clubs have started! Here’s a look at some of the brand new clubs that will be at Stuy this year.

Future Dictators of the World (F.D.W)

You’ve probably heard about all the clubs designed to help their members become future leaders of the world. This club takes it a step further; according to the Club Dictator, “Here at F.D.W., we don’t only want our members to become future leaders—we want them to take control of countries and stay in their position of power for as long as possible. Once our members become dictators of the most powerful countries, we’ll be able to take over the world!” After we finished interviewing her, she started cackling, and soon, all of the club members at the stand were screaming, “Down with democracy!” If world domination sounds fun to you, email the Club Dictator at thebestdictator01@gmail.com.

The Procrastinators Club

Every two to three weeks, a meeting is scheduled to create a reason for students to justify pushing back doing their homework. Thanks to the president’s incredible procrastination skills, all of these meetings end up being continuously pushed back until the last day of school, at which point everyone is too busy doing last-minute cramming for finals to show up. Unfortunately, they had no table at Clubs & Pubs, as the Club President still hadn’t submitted the charter. It was for the best though as they still had leftover homework from the 2023-24 school year to do. If you wish to join the club, it is recommended that you hunt down the club president in person—I asked to join their Epsilon three weeks ago and still haven’t been accepted... 

Principal Yu Tree Saving Association

This club is trying to digitize as many things as possible at Stuyvesant and is currently looking for experienced hackers coders to break into Stuyvesant’s paper ordering system and cancel all future orders. Rumor has it that this will include all orders for physical Spectator copies. We asked the Spectator Editorial Board for comment, but all they were willing to say was that if you know what’s good for you, avoid the club as much as possible.

If you are still interested in joining this club and helping them speak for the trees, email the presidents at theloraxspeakers@gmail.com. 

Senioritis Club

Are you a senior who just doesn’t care anymore? Join the Senioritis Club! To join, members only need to do one thing: give up on school. Unfortunately, this isn’t as easy as it sounds; many seniors had to prove themselves worthy of being part of the Senioritis Club by accomplishing as much as possible while skipping class. One group of particularly determined seniors hired the STC art crew to create life-sized cardboard cutouts of themselves and bribed their classmates to move the cutouts around during the school day. They maintained perfect attendance for three months, even though they spent none of that time at school.

Once you’re accepted into this club, you can go on fun group outings during the school day while the rest of your chump classmates languish in school. If you are interested in knowing more, visit them at their interest meeting next week! (And if you’re skipping school that day, join on Epsilon!)

That’s it for the awesome new clubs this year! We highly recommend staying away from the Principal Yu Tree Saving Association and getting on the F.D.W. club members’ good side before they take over the world. Good luck!