Humor
A Teacher’s Guide to Stuyvesant: Commonly Asked Questions and Answers
By Diya Mallu
A helpful guide for any teachers looking for a job at Stuyvesant.
Disney World decided to raise its prices (again)! Here’s why this means you should now have even more motivation to visit
By PLACEHOLDER
The Walt Disney World Resort (™) in Orlando, Florida, has proposed some changes to its parks because it thought that its prices were a bit too low. They decided to make some magical additions to your bill!
“Summer of Super” Leads to 400 Percent Increase in “Fantastical Vigilantism”
By Selina Lin
Superhero movies have influenced brand new heroes to take to the streets.
What SAT Scores YOU Should Get Based on your Major
By Aaron Xuan, Deon Woon , Maria Tzanova
Advising on how to tackle the SAT based on your dream major.
Kremlin Kung Pao Chicken Index: What It Means For Global Politics
By Selina Lin
A look at Russia’s equivalent of the Pentagon Pizza Index.
Governor Hochul Touts Phone Ban Success
By Sara Bhuiyan, Sara Chen, Timothy Leung
The new phone ban receives overwhelmingly positive feedback.
Elite Stuyvesant HS imposes AI use in ‘cover-up’ of incompetent WOKE human employees
By Nicole Lui
Stuyvesant High School goes AI-first, and secrets are hiding in its walls.
Trolling the Administration (Literally): If Stuy was an Anarchy
By Manya Gautam
What would it look like if Stuyvesant went rule-free for 24 hours?
Stuyvesant High School Summer Camp for Overachievers (TM): Worth it?
By Diya Mallu
We review Stuyvesant’s new summer program—book a spot today!
Which Italian Brainrot Are You?
By Deon Woon
A short, fun quiz to see which Italian Brain Rot character someone is.
A Modest Proposal for the Stuyvesant Escalators
Why AI-powered overclocking will fix the Stuyvesant escalators.
Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Be Reported to the New “End DEI” Web Portal
By Anonymous
The reasons why I shouldn't be reported to the new "End DEI" web portal.
The Earth: Real or Cake?
By Manya Gautam
What happens when the simulation theory is no longer a theory?
Bronx Science Alum Zohran Mamdani Proposes Plan to Convert Stuy into a Government-Owned Mixed-Use Building
By PLACEHOLDER
This is an article about Zohran Mamdani’s plan to convert Stuyvesant into a government-owned mixed-use building.
Catching Strays From Your Own APs?
By Jake Chan
A selection of APs roast the choices of Stuy students.
We Dropped Out of Science Olympiad. Here’s Why.
By Brandon Hu, Christian Kim, Erin Cho
Stating why we will leave Science Olympiad (objectively the worst club at Stuy)
Six ways YOU can be ready for the finals
Studying isn’t just sitting and reviewing your notes, lotta other stuff too.
How to Ace Your Participation Grade Without Actually Doing the Work
This satirical piece reveals how to ace your participation grade with tricks, not actual preparation.
All The Best Bodily Organs You Should Totally Neglect
Getting accepted to this school and having to go here? Damn STRAIGHT, that’s your brain at work!
The Joker Emerges as Frontrunner in New York Mayoral Race
An unexpected mayoral candidate appeals to New Yorkers.
What if I Didn’t Make it to the Bathroom in Time?
By Lina Zheng
A student is desperately in need of the bathroom.
BREAKING NEWS: Band Room Thrown Into Chaos After Instruments Filled with Bizarre Items
Various band students discover their instruments tampered with and find themselves in sticky situations.
Soph-Frosh SING!: A Happy Ending?
[sung to the tune of “Reflection”] Whaaaaat is that show I seeeee, up on thaaaaat, stage for meeeee? Why is SophFrosh SING! something Iiiii paid to seeeee? Writing lyrics is hard, guys.
Trees and Allergy Season: Patreearchy and its Pollenly Consequences
By Selina Lin
The plight of pollen allergies and the patreearchial problems that plague pollinators.
Actually Accurate Nicknames for the 50 States
By John Zeng
Give good nicknames to every state to help you procrastinate.
Best Ways to Prank Your Teacher (If You Wanna Get Expelled)
Spectator Humor has created a list of the best prankless harms—err, harmless pranks, to try on your teachers.
Four Types of Stuy Students During Exams
By Adeline Liao
What different types of Stuy students are like with something we’re all familiar with: EXAMS.
New Year, New Freshmen: Pre-Freshies React to SHSAT Results
By Faiza Rumman
Pre-freshies react to SHSAT results (TW: major second-hand embarrassment).
St Patrick’s Day: An Underestimated Holiday
By Jake Chan
A leprechaun trying to save St Patrick’s Day invades Stuy and forces people to celebrate the holiday
The Stuy That Cried Fire
By Diya Mallu
Research into the string of recent fire drills reveals the true reasons for the “fires.”
All The BEST Places To Go On A Date In NYC!
The prestigious Spectator (specifically the Humor Department) has already put together a waterproof, fireproof, phone-playing-Brawl-Stars-proof list of the best date locations in this city—and it’s obvious you’re staying in the city.
High Fun or High On Kool-Aid?
Someone please tell me where Senior SING! hid the Kool-Aid, children, and furries.
Making a Good Impression on Your Teachers 101
By Jake Chan
A hapless student attempts to make up for their past failings by making a good impression on their teachers in the new school year
Catching Strays From Your Own APs?
By Jake Chan
A selection of APs roast the choices of Stuy students.
Elite Stuyvesant HS imposes AI use in ‘cover-up’ of incompetent WOKE human employees
By Nicole Lui
Stuyvesant High School goes AI-first, and secrets are hiding in its walls.
We Dropped Out of Science Olympiad. Here’s Why.
By Brandon Hu, Christian Kim, Erin Cho
Stating why we will leave Science Olympiad (objectively the worst club at Stuy)
Trolling the Administration (Literally): If Stuy was an Anarchy
By Manya Gautam
What would it look like if Stuyvesant went rule-free for 24 hours?
Six ways YOU can be ready for the finals
Studying isn’t just sitting and reviewing your notes, lotta other stuff too.
How to Ace Your Participation Grade Without Actually Doing the Work
This satirical piece reveals how to ace your participation grade with tricks, not actual preparation.
All The Best Bodily Organs You Should Totally Neglect
Getting accepted to this school and having to go here? Damn STRAIGHT, that’s your brain at work!
The Joker Emerges as Frontrunner in New York Mayoral Race
An unexpected mayoral candidate appeals to New Yorkers.
New Regents for Seniors: Modern American History
By Lina Zheng
Introduction of a new regent for seniors and a study guide for it.
Stuyvesant High School Summer Camp for Overachievers (TM): Worth it?
By Diya Mallu
We review Stuyvesant’s new summer program—book a spot today!
Which Italian Brainrot Are You?
By Deon Woon
A short, fun quiz to see which Italian Brain Rot character someone is.
A Modest Proposal for the Stuyvesant Escalators
Why AI-powered overclocking will fix the Stuyvesant escalators.
The Five Stages of Grief During Test Results
By Adeline Liao
From denial to depression, every Stuy student has had stressful experiences waiting for test results. Here they are outlined in a guide—you’re welcome.
Trees and Allergy Season: Patreearchy and its Pollenly Consequences
By Selina Lin
The plight of pollen allergies and the patreearchial problems that plague pollinators.
Actually Accurate Nicknames for the 50 States
By John Zeng
Give good nicknames to every state to help you procrastinate.
Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Be Reported to the New “End DEI” Web Portal
By Anonymous
The reasons why I shouldn't be reported to the new "End DEI" web portal.
Trump: America to Join War on Poverty “on the Side of Poverty” [FULL TRANSCRIPT]
Read President Trump’s brief speech addressed to a joint session of Congress urging America to come to poverty’s aid in the War on Poverty.
New Tariffs Will Decimate America[’s McDonald’s]
By Alexis Qian
The latest and of course, very real coverage of the United States’ tariffs.
Best Ways to Prank Your Teacher (If You Wanna Get Expelled)
Spectator Humor has created a list of the best prankless harms—err, harmless pranks, to try on your teachers.
What if I Didn’t Make it to the Bathroom in Time?
By Lina Zheng
A student is desperately in need of the bathroom.
Four Types of Stuy Students During Exams
By Adeline Liao
What different types of Stuy students are like with something we’re all familiar with: EXAMS.
BREAKING NEWS: Band Room Thrown Into Chaos After Instruments Filled with Bizarre Items
Various band students discover their instruments tampered with and find themselves in sticky situations.
Soph-Frosh SING!: A Happy Ending?
[sung to the tune of “Reflection”] Whaaaaat is that show I seeeee, up on thaaaaat, stage for meeeee? Why is SophFrosh SING! something Iiiii paid to seeeee? Writing lyrics is hard, guys.
New Year, New Freshmen: Pre-Freshies React to SHSAT Results
By Faiza Rumman
Pre-freshies react to SHSAT results (TW: major second-hand embarrassment).
St Patrick’s Day: An Underestimated Holiday
By Jake Chan
A leprechaun trying to save St Patrick’s Day invades Stuy and forces people to celebrate the holiday
The Stuy That Cried Fire
By Diya Mallu
Research into the string of recent fire drills reveals the true reasons for the “fires.”
All The BEST Places To Go On A Date In NYC!
The prestigious Spectator (specifically the Humor Department) has already put together a waterproof, fireproof, phone-playing-Brawl-Stars-proof list of the best date locations in this city—and it’s obvious you’re staying in the city.
High Fun or High On Kool-Aid?
Someone please tell me where Senior SING! hid the Kool-Aid, children, and furries.
A Teacher’s Guide to Stuyvesant: Commonly Asked Questions and Answers
By Diya Mallu
A helpful guide for any teachers looking for a job at Stuyvesant.
Disney World decided to raise its prices (again)! Here’s why this means you should now have even more motivation to visit
By PLACEHOLDER
The Walt Disney World Resort (™) in Orlando, Florida, has proposed some changes to its parks because it thought that its prices were a bit too low. They decided to make some magical additions to your bill!
“Summer of Super” Leads to 400 Percent Increase in “Fantastical Vigilantism”
By Selina Lin
Superhero movies have influenced brand new heroes to take to the streets.
The Earth: Real or Cake?
By Manya Gautam
What happens when the simulation theory is no longer a theory?
Bronx Science Alum Zohran Mamdani Proposes Plan to Convert Stuy into a Government-Owned Mixed-Use Building
By PLACEHOLDER
This is an article about Zohran Mamdani’s plan to convert Stuyvesant into a government-owned mixed-use building.
What SAT Scores YOU Should Get Based on your Major
By Aaron Xuan, Deon Woon , Maria Tzanova
Advising on how to tackle the SAT based on your dream major.