Humor
Elite Stuyvesant HS imposes AI use in ‘cover-up’ of incompetent WOKE human employees
By Nicole Lui
Stuyvesant High School goes AI-first, and secrets are hiding in its walls.
Trolling the Administration (Literally): If Stuy was an Anarchy
By Manya Gautam
What would it look like if Stuyvesant went rule-free for 24 hours?
Stuyvesant High School Summer Camp for Overachievers (TM): Worth it?
By Diya Mallu
We review Stuyvesant’s new summer program—book a spot today!
Which Italian Brainrot Are You?
By Deon Woon
A short, fun quiz to see which Italian Brain Rot character someone is.
A Modest Proposal for the Stuyvesant Escalators
Why AI-powered overclocking will fix the Stuyvesant escalators.
Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Be Reported to the New “End DEI” Web Portal
By Anonymous
The reasons why I shouldn't be reported to the new "End DEI" web portal.
Trump: America to Join War on Poverty “on the Side of Poverty” [FULL TRANSCRIPT]
Read President Trump’s brief speech addressed to a joint session of Congress urging America to come to poverty’s aid in the War on Poverty.
What if I Didn’t Make it to the Bathroom in Time?
By Lina Zheng
A student is desperately in need of the bathroom.
BREAKING NEWS: Band Room Thrown Into Chaos After Instruments Filled with Bizarre Items
Various band students discover their instruments tampered with and find themselves in sticky situations.
New Tariffs Will Decimate America[’s McDonald’s]
By Alexis Qian
The latest and of course, very real coverage of the United States’ tariffs.
Soph-Frosh SING!: A Happy Ending?
[sung to the tune of “Reflection”] Whaaaaat is that show I seeeee, up on thaaaaat, stage for meeeee? Why is SophFrosh SING! something Iiiii paid to seeeee? Writing lyrics is hard, guys.
Reasons Why Gen Alpha Shouldn’t Be Let into Stuyvesant
By Sara Bhuiyan
The hate for this year’s freshmen is getting outta hand, so we gotta direct it onto another generation.
We Dropped Out of Science Olympiad. Here’s Why.
By Brandon Hu, Christian Kim, Erin Cho
Stating why we will leave Science Olympiad (objectively the worst club at Stuy)
The Joker Emerges as Frontrunner in New York Mayoral Race
An unexpected mayoral candidate appeals to New Yorkers.
How to Ace Your Participation Grade Without Actually Doing the Work
This satirical piece reveals how to ace your participation grade with tricks, not actual preparation.
All The Best Bodily Organs You Should Totally Neglect
Getting accepted to this school and having to go here? Damn STRAIGHT, that’s your brain at work!
New Regents for Seniors: Modern American History
By Lina Zheng
Introduction of a new regent for seniors and a study guide for it.
Six ways YOU can be ready for the finals
Studying isn’t just sitting and reviewing your notes, lotta other stuff too.
The Five Stages of Grief During Test Results
By Adeline Liao
From denial to depression, every Stuy student has had stressful experiences waiting for test results. Here they are outlined in a guide—you’re welcome.
Trees and Allergy Season: Patreearchy and its Pollenly Consequences
By Selina Lin
The plight of pollen allergies and the patreearchial problems that plague pollinators.
The BEST Ways to Get Rejected. Sorry, We Meant how to NEVER Get Rejected.
Well, we heard you want mad rizz? Don’t worry, The Spectator’s Humor department has you covered for this Valentine’s Day. We promise.
Student Union Strikes Against Draconian Gaming Ban
The Student Union organizes a strike against Principal Yu banning Brawl Stars and Block Blast.
Vote YES! on Statewide Ballot Proposal Seven this Election
The Spectator proposes several amendments to the New York State Constitution.
K-Pop Fans Branch to North Korean Groups
By Deon Woon
Fans of K-pop become heavily influenced by North Korean K-pop.
Four Types of Stuy Students During Exams
By Adeline Liao
What different types of Stuy students are like with something we’re all familiar with: EXAMS.
New Year, New Freshmen: Pre-Freshies React to SHSAT Results
By Faiza Rumman
Pre-freshies react to SHSAT results (TW: major second-hand embarrassment).
St Patrick’s Day: An Underestimated Holiday
By Jake Chan
A leprechaun trying to save St Patrick’s Day invades Stuy and forces people to celebrate the holiday
The Stuy That Cried Fire
By Diya Mallu
Research into the string of recent fire drills reveals the true reasons for the “fires.”
All The BEST Places To Go On A Date In NYC!
The prestigious Spectator (specifically the Humor Department) has already put together a waterproof, fireproof, phone-playing-Brawl-Stars-proof list of the best date locations in this city—and it’s obvious you’re staying in the city.
High Fun or High On Kool-Aid?
Someone please tell me where Senior SING! hid the Kool-Aid, children, and furries.
Didn't Wear Your Lab Goggles? You Pay the Price.
By Matthew Chen
The true dangers of not wearing your lab goggles—summoning a Lovecraftian demon.
We Need to Fight the Groundhogs
By Fiona Chen
The cries of help from your local diva who just wants to get to the bottom of things, short attention span and all.
Quesadilla Clara: Issue 10
My best friend and I have been drifting apart lately. How can I fix our friendship?
Catching Strays From Your Own APs?
By Jake Chan
A selection of APs roast the choices of Stuy students.
Elite Stuyvesant HS imposes AI use in ‘cover-up’ of incompetent WOKE human employees
By Nicole Lui
Stuyvesant High School goes AI-first, and secrets are hiding in its walls.
We Dropped Out of Science Olympiad. Here’s Why.
By Brandon Hu, Christian Kim, Erin Cho
Stating why we will leave Science Olympiad (objectively the worst club at Stuy)
Trolling the Administration (Literally): If Stuy was an Anarchy
By Manya Gautam
What would it look like if Stuyvesant went rule-free for 24 hours?
The Joker Emerges as Frontrunner in New York Mayoral Race
An unexpected mayoral candidate appeals to New Yorkers.
How to Ace Your Participation Grade Without Actually Doing the Work
This satirical piece reveals how to ace your participation grade with tricks, not actual preparation.
All The Best Bodily Organs You Should Totally Neglect
Getting accepted to this school and having to go here? Damn STRAIGHT, that’s your brain at work!
Stuyvesant High School Summer Camp for Overachievers (TM): Worth it?
By Diya Mallu
We review Stuyvesant’s new summer program—book a spot today!
New Regents for Seniors: Modern American History
By Lina Zheng
Introduction of a new regent for seniors and a study guide for it.
Six ways YOU can be ready for the finals
Studying isn’t just sitting and reviewing your notes, lotta other stuff too.
Which Italian Brainrot Are You?
By Deon Woon
A short, fun quiz to see which Italian Brain Rot character someone is.
A Modest Proposal for the Stuyvesant Escalators
Why AI-powered overclocking will fix the Stuyvesant escalators.
The Five Stages of Grief During Test Results
By Adeline Liao
From denial to depression, every Stuy student has had stressful experiences waiting for test results. Here they are outlined in a guide—you’re welcome.
Trees and Allergy Season: Patreearchy and its Pollenly Consequences
By Selina Lin
The plight of pollen allergies and the patreearchial problems that plague pollinators.
Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Be Reported to the New “End DEI” Web Portal
By Anonymous
The reasons why I shouldn't be reported to the new "End DEI" web portal.
Actually Accurate Nicknames for the 50 States
By John Zeng
Give good nicknames to every state to help you procrastinate.
Trump: America to Join War on Poverty “on the Side of Poverty” [FULL TRANSCRIPT]
Read President Trump’s brief speech addressed to a joint session of Congress urging America to come to poverty’s aid in the War on Poverty.
Best Ways to Prank Your Teacher (If You Wanna Get Expelled)
Spectator Humor has created a list of the best prankless harms—err, harmless pranks, to try on your teachers.
What if I Didn’t Make it to the Bathroom in Time?
By Lina Zheng
A student is desperately in need of the bathroom.
Four Types of Stuy Students During Exams
By Adeline Liao
What different types of Stuy students are like with something we’re all familiar with: EXAMS.
BREAKING NEWS: Band Room Thrown Into Chaos After Instruments Filled with Bizarre Items
Various band students discover their instruments tampered with and find themselves in sticky situations.
New Tariffs Will Decimate America[’s McDonald’s]
By Alexis Qian
The latest and of course, very real coverage of the United States’ tariffs.
Soph-Frosh SING!: A Happy Ending?
[sung to the tune of “Reflection”] Whaaaaat is that show I seeeee, up on thaaaaat, stage for meeeee? Why is SophFrosh SING! something Iiiii paid to seeeee? Writing lyrics is hard, guys.
New Year, New Freshmen: Pre-Freshies React to SHSAT Results
By Faiza Rumman
Pre-freshies react to SHSAT results (TW: major second-hand embarrassment).
St Patrick’s Day: An Underestimated Holiday
By Jake Chan
A leprechaun trying to save St Patrick’s Day invades Stuy and forces people to celebrate the holiday
The Stuy That Cried Fire
By Diya Mallu
Research into the string of recent fire drills reveals the true reasons for the “fires.”
All The BEST Places To Go On A Date In NYC!
The prestigious Spectator (specifically the Humor Department) has already put together a waterproof, fireproof, phone-playing-Brawl-Stars-proof list of the best date locations in this city—and it’s obvious you’re staying in the city.
High Fun or High On Kool-Aid?
Someone please tell me where Senior SING! hid the Kool-Aid, children, and furries.
Reasons Why Gen Alpha Shouldn’t Be Let into Stuyvesant
By Sara Bhuiyan
The hate for this year’s freshmen is getting outta hand, so we gotta direct it onto another generation.
Didn't Wear Your Lab Goggles? You Pay the Price.
By Matthew Chen
The true dangers of not wearing your lab goggles—summoning a Lovecraftian demon.
We Need to Fight the Groundhogs
By Fiona Chen
The cries of help from your local diva who just wants to get to the bottom of things, short attention span and all.
Facebook Conspiracies
By Nicole Lui
Do you know how embarrassing it is to tell your teacher you urgently need the bathroom for explosive diarrhea because one of the top hats was craving a pizza bagel?
Life of a Second Semester Senior
By Gary Huang
Now that I’m a second-semester senior, I can finally stop pretending to lock in and adopt the unproductive lifestyle I always wanted to live.
The BEST Ways to Get Rejected. Sorry, We Meant how to NEVER Get Rejected.
Well, we heard you want mad rizz? Don’t worry, The Spectator’s Humor department has you covered for this Valentine’s Day. We promise.
Student Union Strikes Against Draconian Gaming Ban
The Student Union organizes a strike against Principal Yu banning Brawl Stars and Block Blast.
Quesadilla Clara: Issue 10
My best friend and I have been drifting apart lately. How can I fix our friendship?