Humor
Trump: America to Join War on Poverty “on the Side of Poverty” [FULL TRANSCRIPT]
Read President Trump’s brief speech addressed to a joint session of Congress urging America to come to poverty’s aid in the War on Poverty.
BREAKING NEWS: Band Room Thrown Into Chaos After Instruments Filled with Bizarre Items
By (!) William Chen, Nicole Lui
Various band students discover their instruments tampered with and find themselves in sticky situations.
New Tariffs Will Decimate America[’s McDonald’s]
By Alexis Qian
The latest and of course, very real coverage of the United States’ tariffs.
What if I Didn’t Make it to the Bathroom in Time?
By Lina Zheng
A student is desperately in need of the bathroom.
Soph-Frosh SING!: A Happy Ending?
[sung to the tune of “Reflection”] Whaaaaat is that show I seeeee, up on thaaaaat, stage for meeeee? Why is SophFrosh SING! something Iiiii paid to seeeee? Writing lyrics is hard, guys.
Facebook Conspiracies
By Nicole Lui
Do you know how embarrassing it is to tell your teacher you urgently need the bathroom for explosive diarrhea because one of the top hats was craving a pizza bagel?
Reasons Why Gen Alpha Shouldn’t Be Let into Stuyvesant
By Sara Bhuiyan
The hate for this year’s freshmen is getting outta hand, so we gotta direct it onto another generation.
Life of a Second Semester Senior
By Gary Huang
Now that I’m a second-semester senior, I can finally stop pretending to lock in and adopt the unproductive lifestyle I always wanted to live.
The BEST Ways to Get Rejected. Sorry, We Meant how to NEVER Get Rejected.
Well, we heard you want mad rizz? Don’t worry, The Spectator’s Humor department has you covered for this Valentine’s Day. We promise.
Student Union Strikes Against Draconian Gaming Ban
The Student Union organizes a strike against Principal Yu banning Brawl Stars and Block Blast.
Vote YES! on Statewide Ballot Proposal Seven this Election
The Spectator proposes several amendments to the New York State Constitution.
K-Pop Fans Branch to North Korean Groups
By Deon Woon
Fans of K-pop become heavily influenced by North Korean K-pop.
Trudeau Resigns: Nothing Ever Happens
By Jai Shah
With Justin Trudeau’s resignation, many seem to expect radical change, yet they ignore the simple truth of Canada’s existence: “Nothing Ever Happens.”
Best Ways to Prank Your Teacher (If You Wanna Get Expelled)
Spectator Humor has created a list of the best prankless harms—err, harmless pranks, to try on your teachers.
New Year, New Freshmen: Pre-Freshies React to SHSAT Results
By Faiza Rumman
Pre-freshies react to SHSAT results (TW: major second-hand embarrassment).
High Fun or High On Kool-Aid?
Someone please tell me where Senior SING! hid the Kool-Aid, children, and furries.
The Stuy That Cried Fire
By Diya Mallu
Research into the string of recent fire drills reveals the true reasons for the “fires.”
All The BEST Places To Go On A Date In NYC!
The prestigious Spectator (specifically the Humor Department) has already put together a waterproof, fireproof, phone-playing-Brawl-Stars-proof list of the best date locations in this city—and it’s obvious you’re staying in the city.
St Patrick’s Day: An Underestimated Holiday
By Jake Chan
A leprechaun trying to save St Patrick’s Day invades Stuy and forces people to celebrate the holiday
We Need to Fight the Groundhogs
By Fiona Chen
The cries of help from your local diva who just wants to get to the bottom of things, short attention span and all.
Didn't Wear Your Lab Goggles? You Pay the Price.
By Matthew Chen
The true dangers of not wearing your lab goggles—summoning a Lovecraftian demon.
Deny, Defend, Desire (A Y/N x Luigi Mangione Fanfiction)
By Faiza Rumman, Jiaheng Lukas Yao, Sara Bhuiyan, Syed Ali
Y/N finds out that their one true love, Luigi Mangione, is in jail…the only option now is to break him out.
Quesadilla Clara: Issue 8
Some of my friends have been talking about me behind my back, and it’s really bothering me. Should I confront them or just let it go?
Bad Grade Week at Stuy Causes Students to “Tweak Out”
By Diya Mallu, Faiza Rumman, Syed Ali
Students share horror stories from “bad grade week,” a teacher-planned torture experience.
Why Stuyvesant Students Keep Losing Their OMNY Cards
By Deon Woon
Rats from the Subway are stealing Stuyvesant students’ OMNY cards.
I Deleted Google Classroom: It Changed My Life
By Matthew Chen
Deleting Google Classroom was euphoric. Now, I feel completely enlightened. No more am I pressured by constant notifications and FOMO. This is my story.
Who Memorizes the World Map?
Cartographers start to have fun with America’s lack of geography skills, removing parts of the world map little by little.
2024 is Ending, so Why Not Do It For the Plot
You haven’t done anything this year, but the year isn’t over just yet. Here are some helpful suggestions to how you can finally feel the warmth of someone else’s embrace or perhaps burn down the kitchen you’ve always wanted to burn down.
Why Is It So Hard To Commit Election Fraud?!
By Selina Lin
A would-be election fraudster attempts to foil the 2024 Election.
A Turkey Social Experiment
By Jake Chan
Stuyvesant freshmen simulate the feelings of turkeys before Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving Dinner: The Turkeys Fight Back
By Selina Lin
A turkey group plans their resistance to the slaughter of their kind during the Thanksgiving season.
Humor New Year's Resolutions: Stuy & Celebrity Edition
By Erin Cho, Fiona 'Eve' Lin, Myles Vuong
New year, definitely new us…
2025’s Brand New Resolutions
Stuyvesant students are ready to make their New Year’s resolutions for 2025, but what are the most common ones made every year?
Four Types of Stuy Students During Exams
By Adeline Liao
What different types of Stuy students are like with something we’re all familiar with: EXAMS.
Trump: America to Join War on Poverty “on the Side of Poverty” [FULL TRANSCRIPT]
Read President Trump’s brief speech addressed to a joint session of Congress urging America to come to poverty’s aid in the War on Poverty.
BREAKING NEWS: Band Room Thrown Into Chaos After Instruments Filled with Bizarre Items
By (!) William Chen, Nicole Lui
Various band students discover their instruments tampered with and find themselves in sticky situations.
New Tariffs Will Decimate America[’s McDonald’s]
By Alexis Qian
The latest and of course, very real coverage of the United States’ tariffs.
What if I Didn’t Make it to the Bathroom in Time?
By Lina Zheng
A student is desperately in need of the bathroom.
Best Ways to Prank Your Teacher (If You Wanna Get Expelled)
Spectator Humor has created a list of the best prankless harms—err, harmless pranks, to try on your teachers.
New Year, New Freshmen: Pre-Freshies React to SHSAT Results
By Faiza Rumman
Pre-freshies react to SHSAT results (TW: major second-hand embarrassment).
High Fun or High On Kool-Aid?
Someone please tell me where Senior SING! hid the Kool-Aid, children, and furries.
Soph-Frosh SING!: A Happy Ending?
[sung to the tune of “Reflection”] Whaaaaat is that show I seeeee, up on thaaaaat, stage for meeeee? Why is SophFrosh SING! something Iiiii paid to seeeee? Writing lyrics is hard, guys.
The Stuy That Cried Fire
By Diya Mallu
Research into the string of recent fire drills reveals the true reasons for the “fires.”
All The BEST Places To Go On A Date In NYC!
The prestigious Spectator (specifically the Humor Department) has already put together a waterproof, fireproof, phone-playing-Brawl-Stars-proof list of the best date locations in this city—and it’s obvious you’re staying in the city.
St Patrick’s Day: An Underestimated Holiday
By Jake Chan
A leprechaun trying to save St Patrick’s Day invades Stuy and forces people to celebrate the holiday
We Need to Fight the Groundhogs
By Fiona Chen
The cries of help from your local diva who just wants to get to the bottom of things, short attention span and all.
Facebook Conspiracies
By Nicole Lui
Do you know how embarrassing it is to tell your teacher you urgently need the bathroom for explosive diarrhea because one of the top hats was craving a pizza bagel?
Reasons Why Gen Alpha Shouldn’t Be Let into Stuyvesant
By Sara Bhuiyan
The hate for this year’s freshmen is getting outta hand, so we gotta direct it onto another generation.
Didn't Wear Your Lab Goggles? You Pay the Price.
By Matthew Chen
The true dangers of not wearing your lab goggles—summoning a Lovecraftian demon.
Life of a Second Semester Senior
By Gary Huang
Now that I’m a second-semester senior, I can finally stop pretending to lock in and adopt the unproductive lifestyle I always wanted to live.
The BEST Ways to Get Rejected. Sorry, We Meant how to NEVER Get Rejected.
Well, we heard you want mad rizz? Don’t worry, The Spectator’s Humor department has you covered for this Valentine’s Day. We promise.
Student Union Strikes Against Draconian Gaming Ban
The Student Union organizes a strike against Principal Yu banning Brawl Stars and Block Blast.
Quesadilla Clara: Issue 10
My best friend and I have been drifting apart lately. How can I fix our friendship?
Vote YES! on Statewide Ballot Proposal Seven this Election
The Spectator proposes several amendments to the New York State Constitution.
K-Pop Fans Branch to North Korean Groups
By Deon Woon
Fans of K-pop become heavily influenced by North Korean K-pop.
Trudeau Resigns: Nothing Ever Happens
By Jai Shah
With Justin Trudeau’s resignation, many seem to expect radical change, yet they ignore the simple truth of Canada’s existence: “Nothing Ever Happens.”
The Humor Department’s Favorite Holiday Gifts
Spec waxes nostalgic about their favorite gifts from this holiday season! They’re, uh… definitely gifts.
Choral Carols
By Nicole Lui
Stuyvesant’s choral department introduces a new festive policy and Christmas-themed chaos ensues.
The Ultimate Guide to Ending Up on Santa’s “Naughty” List
Merry Christmas! Since we know you don’t want to end up on Santa’s Naughty list this year, we decided to lend a helping hand by telling you what not to do!
Deny, Defend, Desire (A Y/N x Luigi Mangione Fanfiction)
By Faiza Rumman, Jiaheng Lukas Yao, Sara Bhuiyan, Syed Ali
Y/N finds out that their one true love, Luigi Mangione, is in jail…the only option now is to break him out.
Quesadilla Clara: Issue 8
Some of my friends have been talking about me behind my back, and it’s really bothering me. Should I confront them or just let it go?
Bad Grade Week at Stuy Causes Students to “Tweak Out”
By Diya Mallu, Faiza Rumman, Syed Ali
Students share horror stories from “bad grade week,” a teacher-planned torture experience.
Humor New Year's Resolutions: Stuy & Celebrity Edition
By Erin Cho, Fiona 'Eve' Lin, Myles Vuong
New year, definitely new us…
Why Stuyvesant Students Keep Losing Their OMNY Cards
By Deon Woon
Rats from the Subway are stealing Stuyvesant students’ OMNY cards.
I Deleted Google Classroom: It Changed My Life
By Matthew Chen
Deleting Google Classroom was euphoric. Now, I feel completely enlightened. No more am I pressured by constant notifications and FOMO. This is my story.
2025’s Brand New Resolutions
Stuyvesant students are ready to make their New Year’s resolutions for 2025, but what are the most common ones made every year?
Who Memorizes the World Map?
Cartographers start to have fun with America’s lack of geography skills, removing parts of the world map little by little.
2024 is Ending, so Why Not Do It For the Plot
You haven’t done anything this year, but the year isn’t over just yet. Here are some helpful suggestions to how you can finally feel the warmth of someone else’s embrace or perhaps burn down the kitchen you’ve always wanted to burn down.
Why Is It So Hard To Commit Election Fraud?!
By Selina Lin
A would-be election fraudster attempts to foil the 2024 Election.
A Turkey Social Experiment
By Jake Chan
Stuyvesant freshmen simulate the feelings of turkeys before Thanksgiving
