Dear Secret Stuy Cupid Admirer

At the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, Stuy Cupid, a new website, was introduced to Stuyvesant and revolutionized the dating scene. The purpose was for individuals to send out anonymous confessions. If two people sent confessions to each other, there would be a “match,” and their identities would be revealed. As horny high school teens yearned for more love and affection during the first few months of quarantine, the initial launch was met with widespread success. However, the website was soon used for a different purpose as friends started to spam each other with thirsty confessions. Unfortunately, the app has been permanently closed, leaving many with questions about the hundreds of confessors who have yet to be revealed. Here is a letter from an anonymous junior to their secret admirer.

Dear Secret Stuy Cupid Admirer,

April 4, 2020. 11:09 a.m. I’ll never forget that exact moment. I felt the vibration of my phone notify me of the email from emailer@cupid.stuy.app. A message that said, “It’s official! Your flawlessness hasn’t gone unnoticed. Looks like someone’s got a secret admirer!” popped up on my screen. An image with an extremely unoriginal joke was also included saying, “You look familiar. Did we have a class together? I could have sworn we had chemistry.”

I’ve asked my only three friends, and not one confessed that they sent the confession. I’ve been attacked by them for being a “simp,” but I desperately need to know who wrote this confession. This letter is my last opportunity to figure out my confessor before I officially call it quits.

And while I am currently happily matched with another Stuy student who appreciates my love for food (we call each other Ken and Barbie by the way ;)), you are still a constant presence in the back of my mind. Though I am happy, I always think about what we could’ve become if only we’d matched and gone on a virtual date.

With the website gone, I’ll never know who you are…unless I bribe the creator (which I have definitely not considered doing in the slightest). In the end, all I wish for you is to live a happy and fulfilling life.

To the person who wrote me that confession: pm me I just wanna talk ;)

Signed,

Anonymous junior

Many more curious and desperate Stuyvesant students have yet to learn more about their anonymous confessors. “I desperately need the website to come back! It was the best thing that ever happened in 2020,” one sophomore said.

Others, however, have considerably less time to find their confessors. “I haven’t found my confessor yet, and I’m almost graduating. I remember they wrote, ‘I looked at you every single day during AP Bio last year, and worship you at home at my shrine. I hope one day you’ll appreciate and recognize my love when I confess to you at your doorsteps.’ Isn’t that so romantic?” a senior said. Some may call this senior delusional, but I think she’s just an avid Wattpad reader.

Hundreds of students have posted on anonymous confession pages and commented on posts about revamping Stuy Cupid, motivated by their desperation to receive insignificant emails of someone finding them attractive. If you’re currently reading this article, then you are a part of this group. Unfortunately, the website developer declined to comment on the issue, which means all we can do now is wait for another computer science nerd to build us a dating platform like the ephemeral yet ethereal Stuy Cupid.

While we may never know who our secret admirers are, they’ll be remembered forever. This Valentine’s Day, treat yourself to some candy, and take a risk! You could even talk to the person you confessed to through Stuy Cupid. And this goes especially for the people who confessed to me (you know who you are). Maybe that void of despair you created in our hearts can be filled once again with love.

PS: If YOU are MY Stuy Cupid Admirer, please fill out this Google Form! I would love to get to know you more :)