Frog and Toad: Where are They Now?

Iconic children’s book characters Frog and Toad were once up to an endless number of shenanigans, but whatever happened to them? Have they simply stopped going on wild adventures and doing perfectly trivial things together? Well, they’ve both agreed to let me observe their current daily happenings from the comfort of their own couch, so these questions can be put to rest. Let’s see what they’re up to.

“Frog, I want to go outside,” Toad said.

“Then go outside,” Frog said.

“But I don’t want to go outside unless you do.”

“Toad, I swear, you always do this.”

“Do what?”

“You know exactly what. You guilt-trip me to walk halfway around the block until you get too tired and decide you just want to stare at a pigeon instead. I tell you Toad, I’m honestly tired of it.”

“Frog, you’re scaring me.”
“Good. I am sick of being pulled every which way just because you make me. I’m done.”

Frog started to fold his clothes and place them in a suitcase.

“Frog, where are you going?”

“Anywhere but here.”

Frog stormed out of their quaint New York City apartment and slammed the door. Toad began to cry.

Two hours passed before Frog came running through the very door he practically just slammed. Toad stopped crying.

“Frog!” Toad exclaimed. “Why did you come back?”

“We don’t own umbrellas, and it’s raining. I got my pants soaked.” Frog admitted.

“Fair enough. Want to bake cookies with me? I know how much we both enjoy them,” Toad suggested.

“Of course. Your cookies always set me straight.”

“But we’re not strai—”

“Toad, what do you need for the cookies? Flour? Eggs?” Frog interrupted.

The pair then made a batch of the most scrumptious cookies they both have ever eaten.

“Toad, I’m sorry.”

“For what, Frog?”

“Threatening to leave you when I had no intention of doing so. That was pretty cold of me to do.”

“You’re right. Thank you,” Toad accepted the apology.

The next morning, Toad woke up with a fright.

“Frog, would you ever really leave?”

“Of course not, Toad. Who else would I plant seeds in the ground with?”

“Thank you, Frog.”

“Toad, would you like to watch a movie on Disney+ with me?”

“I would love that, Frog. How about National Geographic?”

“Do you just want to see what Kermit and Miss Piggy have been doing after that?”

“You know me so well, Frog.”

The two began to enjoy the film until Toad got a little suspicious at how intently Frog was paying attention to Kermit specifically. He decided to test his theory.

“Frog?”

“Mm?” Frog mumbled.

“Would you ever rob a bank with me?”

“Oh yeah sure, of course.” Frog managed to say.

“What about our neighbors? Would you ever rob them?”

“Oh, absolutely. You’re so right, Toad.”
“Frog!”

Frog threw the bowl of popcorn he was eating from in the air in fright.

“What?!”

“Why are you looking at Kermit like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like… t h a t.”

“Toad, I have no idea what you are referring to. I am simply enjoying the cinematic genius of puppets with personalities.”

“Frog, you know Kermit makes me insecure. He’s taller than me, slimmer than me, and funnier than me. Why are you looking at him like he’s Lady Gaga at the Super Bowl?”

“Toad, you know I just really enjoy this particular movie. No need to get jealous. Look at it this way. Who am I sitting next to, you or Kermit?”

“I bet you wish I were Kermit…”

“Answer the question, Toad.”
“Me…” Toad mumbled.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“ME! AH!” Toad practically screeched. Frog threw the bowl of popcorn up in the air once again.

“That’s better. Now let us continue where we left off.” Frog knew deep down in his heart Toad would never be Kermit, but one could certainly dream.

That evening, while the pair was sleeping, trouble ensued in the amphibian household.

Frog heard a knock at the door.

“Toad, is that you knocking on the door?”
“Frog, use your Cheeto-sized brain. I am literally right next to you. How would I be knocking at the door?”

“Jeez, alright, Toad. I’ll go see who it is.”
Frog opened the door to nothing but a note. It read, “I want cookies.”

Frog returned to Toad in their bed.
“Toad, what kind of baloney are you pulling?”

“Frog, that note is clearly referring to cookies, not baloney. Gosh, you can’t even read.”

“Toad, I am asking you once again. What is the meaning behind this tomfoolery?”

“Now why should I tell you?”

“No clue, but this note is making me want cookies. Let’s go get some.”

Toad turned and smiled. He had to text his acquaintance a very heartfelt thank you later.

“That’s just what I was thinking!” Toad exclaimed. He only rejoiced on the inside. Of course, he couldn’t let Frog know that he, in fact, was behind the baloney and tomfoolery.

And so the pair went to their cabinet to rummage through the plethora of baked goods lining their shelves. They munched and munched and began to ponder the many ponderings one ponders when one is pondering.

“Frog, what do you think the purpose of life is?”

“I get you cookies and you still have questions? You ask too much of me.”

The two chuckled and made their way to bed. Huh, so that’s what they’ve been up to? The same routine as when I last kept up with them? Mundane tasks and the occasional fight? Oh, Frog and Toad. Some things never change. On the next episode of “Frog and Toad: Where are They Now?”I’ll give you answers to your burning question: will they ever do anything else? Until next time, I’m an unnamed reporter, and you’re watching this unnamed news channel. Now, sports.