Humor Editor Exposé

On Saturday, December 2, 2023, the comedy gods blessed us with two new Humor editors: juniors Munem Tajwar and Michelle “Mike” Huang. Out with the dusty old stinky senior editors: there are new guys in town, and they are ready to rumble. Curious to see what these new faces will bring to the department, we put on our detective hats and conducted the most thorough method of investigation: an interview in the janitor’s closet.

Interviewer: Mike and Munem, glad to have you here. Tell me a little about yourselves.

MH: Hi, I’m Mike; I’m a junior, and I’m so excited to be an editor for Humor. I’ve been writing articles since freshman year, so The Spectator is a pretty integral part of my life. 

MT: I’m Munem! I have two adorable golden retrievers that I love a lot. Sometimes I take them out for walks, and I just wish I could be as happy and carefree as they are!

Interviewer: I love that! Now, as new editors, I’m sure you're feeling a lot of pressure to keep things funky and fresh, so what do you plan to bring to the department this year?

MH: Well, for starters, I really want to strengthen the sense of community within the Humor department. The last time I went to a meeting, nobody else showed up except for a dead roach and a few tumbleweeds. They did team up and write a fire article, though.  

MT: My swag is probably my most important attribute. It allows me to be totally tubular in all aspects, which contributes to the attention to detail needed to do this job. I’m probably the most attractive editor this department has ever had, which is invaluable to the team effort. 

MH: Okay, Munem.

Interviewer: Moving away from the business side of things, what do you guys like to do in your free time?

MH: That’s a tough one! I really enjoy spending time with my parents and reading philosophical literature, but I think my favorite thing to do is volunteering at the local orphanage every weekend.

MT: I play a lot of Animal Crossing. And I’m very active on some internet forums. Have you heard of Tumblr? It’s sort of this niche underground platform—

Interviewer: (interrupting) You guys seem to have a great interpersonal dynamic! Did you meet on the job, or did you know each other prior?

MT: We’ve known each other for a while actually! It’s just a coincidence that we’re now co-editors. 

MH: Yeah, we met last year. I make costumes for the Stuyvesant Theater Community, so Munem commissioned a… special suit from me.

MT: It’s super cool! It’s bright blue, and the tail is just the right fabric.  

Interviewer: Oh… moving on! What do you think will be your biggest challenge?

MH: Well to be honest, a big issue we’re working on right now is how to manage our funds from the Business department. I’m not trying to point any fingers, but Munem seems to be a lot more unacquainted with the money side of things, given that he’s using so much of The Spectator’s money to fund his—

MT: It’s just to support a hobby of mine! I know it’s not the most responsible thing to do, but it’s gotten hard to make ends meet lately, what with these rising gas prices and everything. You know, Biden’s America!

MH: You don’t own a car.

Interviewer: A “hobby?” Do you care to elaborate?

MH: Munem’s been embezzling The Spectator’s funds to go to furry conventions.

Interviewer: This seems… interesting. Munem, can you confirm that you are a furry then?

MT: Well… I thought that was pretty obvious. I send pictures of wolves in business suits to everyone I know, I growl when provoked, and I’m very in touch with my alpha side.

MH: Look, Munem, I fully support you in your personal life, but this seems to be seeping into the inner workings of the department. Don’t you think you could take a break from the conventions? At least for a few months?

MT: Hmm… only if you fix my suit. It still has that hole from when I wore it to gym class.

[The interviewer proceeded to leave the room. Surveillance cameras can confirm that Mike and Munem stayed in the room for the next five hours arguing, becoming increasingly violent, until the footage cut to black. They were unavailable for a follow-up interview.]

And there you have it: the full scoop on our lovely new editors! It seems like they’re really going to bring a whole new style to the Humor Department, provided they sort out their spending problems. 

P.S. Please consider hiring us for our freelance detective skills; after this article was drafted, someone started trying to blackmail us for “defamation,” so we’ll need all the support we can get.