MatchGPT: Love Has Never Been More Real!

Are you single? Lonely? Do people pass by you on the street and tell you that you’re going to die alone?

If so, look no further than the latest online dating service: MatchGPT! Say goodbye to Tinder, Hinge, and all those rusty old apps. MatchGPT utilizes brand-new, state-of-the-art AI technology to help you find the perfect partner.

You may ask, “How does that work?” Well, it’s simple! All you have to do is enter the qualities you desire in a significant other, including but not limited to: eye color, hair length, favorite Dreamworks film, dietary restrictions, and Mario Kart main. After that, MatchGPT does all the work for you. Within seconds, the AI searches its database and matches you with a user who fits your exact requirements. Finding that special someone has never been easier!

Don’t believe us? Check out some of our customer reviews:

“When I used other dating apps, I struggled to find someone who loved the Cars trilogy as much as I did. But MatchGPT instantly matched me with a guy who sleeps in a Lightning McQueen bed and has “Ka-Chow” tattooed across his forehead. We haven’t met in person yet, but we’re getting married next month.” —Anita Lyfe

“I was never really satisfied with my previous significant others. I know everyone is supposed to have flaws or whatever, but I just really wanted to find a girlfriend with a perfectly proportioned face, torso, AND limbs. I used to think that was impossible, but MatchGPT paired me with the woman of my literal dreams. Sometimes we FaceTime and just stare at each other for hours without speaking. I think I’m in love.” —Joe Mama

“MatchGPT paired me with someone and we instantly started talking. It was like a match made in heaven: we had all the same interests and everything. She was beautiful—even though she would sometimes quote entire Wikipedia articles when I asked her about herself. Anyway, we started calling, and I noticed she had six fingers and no nostrils. But I thought, you know what? Nobody’s perfect. A few weeks later, I asked if we could meet up in person, and she responded, ‘Software error. Sorry.’ That’s when I realized my girlfriend was AI generated. But it’s still nice to have someone to talk to, so I don’t mind.” —Anonymous student from Stuyvesant High School

“I never believed in soulmates before. Now I do.” —Jojo Siwa, singer of “Karma” and various other hits

Wish you could take your online dating experience even further? We also have MatchGPT+, with features such as profile-writing, voice modulation, and photo enhancement (with an 88% chance of not replacing your fingers with toes!). The cost is a jaw-droppingly affordable $64.99 per month for a lifetime subscription, but you can use the code “notarobot” for a three-week free trial. How exciting!

MatchGPT: Love has never been this real!