My Secret Addiction to Romance Anime

Anime. We all know what it is and we all love it. Some more than others, some less than others, and others prefer the OTHER side of the Japanese animation world. If you don’t know what that was in reference to, I’m guessing your rice purity score is still pretty high.

Anyway, today I felt the need to talk about my favorite genre in the anime world: romance. You see, I’m a hopeless romantic who has never felt the touch of a woman or man, which single-handedly makes me the best person to talk about romance in anime.

“Rent-A-Girlfriend” Has Me Questioning My Moral Compass

The story follows the main character, Kazuya, who is heartbroken after his girlfriend abruptly ends their relationship. Kazuya spends his days dejected and buying surplus amounts of Kleenex tissues and lotion, which must mean he’s in the mood to clean his house.

Anyway, like any normal human being, Kazuya soon discovers a girlfriend rental service, which allows him to rent a girlfriend for a period of time. The remainder of the show follows Kazuya’s hopeless attempts to connect with Chizuru, the girl he chose to rent, but ultimately, all the show really manages to accomplish is prove just how much of a social reject Kazuya is.

Although the anime was far from enjoyable, it did give me a business venture to look into. I was hoping to create my own Rent-A-Partner app. The app would function similar to Tinder, but you have to pay to date one another. Unfortunately, I’m still working through some of the legal red tape for that.

“Your Lie in April” Has Me Crying in April

This anime truly brought me to tears. The synopsis of the anime basically goes like this: the protagonist, Arima Kousei, is unable to play his piano after the passing of his mother. However, after meeting the eccentric Miyazono Kaori, Kousei is able to overcome his trauma and not only rekindle his passion for music, but also find comfort in a new loved one.

After finishing this anime, I truly believed love was still in the cards for me. That is, until I remembered I hadn’t left my bedroom in three days and that I’ve eaten a pint of ice cream each day. But maybe there is still hope for you.

Yes, you. If you want a chance at not being buried alone, stop reading this article and delete that file containing a list of all your anime waifus. It will be hard, but it’s important to go cold turkey.

“Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai” Has Me Dreaming About, Well, You Know…

The seemingly normal life of Sakuta Azusagawa, a high school student, changes drastically when he encounters one of his senior classmates dressed up in a bunny girl costume. I’m not joking. Google it. The reasoning behind the costume is that some teenagers go through something known as puberty syndrome, which makes them appear invisible to others around them.

Mai Sakurajima, the aforementioned bunny girl, made the sensible choice to see if she was truly invisible by wearing a bunny girl costume in public. Surprisingly, only Sakuta is able to notice her. The remainder of the show follows them trying to cure Mai’s puberty syndrome, and of course, they end up falling in love.

This anime gave me hope that, one day, I too would find one of my upperclassman companions in a bunny costume, and I would be the only person capable of saving them. Until that day, I’ll just continue being a social reject.

Sometimes, I find myself thinking that I will never find a significant other who is willing to spend their Saturday evening going to furry conventions with me. I just have to wake up to reality. Nothing ever goes as planned in this accursed world. The longer you live, the more you realize that the only things that truly exist in this reality are merely pain, suffering, and futility.

Listen, everywhere you look in this world, wherever there is light, there will always be shadows to be found as well. As long as there is a concept of victors, the vanquished will also exist. The selfish intent of wanting to find love initiates loneliness and hatred is born in order to protect love. Anyway, back to watching anime.