PTC with GPT

Stuyvesant High School has recently incorporated AI technology into Parent-Teacher Conferences (PTC). Below, you will find a transcription of the first conference tested using this new technology, with junior student Vunder Full’s parent Sorrow Full.

Sorrow Full: “Hello? Is this Ms. Gram-Marly, Vunder Full’s English teacher?”

PTC-GPT: “Good evening, Ms. Full. This is PTC-GPT, your child’s virtual English teacher for this conference. How can I assist you today?”

Sorrow Full: “GPT? Like ChatGPT? You’re the teacher?! But where’s Ms. Gram-Marly?”

PTC-GPT: “Ms. Gram-Marly has been upgraded to a chatbot version to streamline the PTC process. With help from the PA, Vunder’s school has paid a handsome sum for this technology. You certainly are highly encouraged to donate to the PA’s annual appeal for more access to groundbreaking technology.”

Sorrow Full: “Well, haha then, I guess we’ll make do. How’s my son doing in his AP English class?”

PTC-GPT: “According to the schedule provided to me, Vunder is currently taking Freshman Composition, not AP English. I believe you may be mistaken.”

Sorrow Full: “Freshman Composition?! But Vunder is a junior. Why is he taking a freshman class?”

PTC-GPT: “I apologize for my mistake. Vunder is indeed taking poetry. Thank you for correcting me.”

Sorrow Full: “Is there a way I can talk to Ms. Gram-Marly instead?”

PTC-GPT: “I’m afraid not. Please proceed to ask me any questions you would like to ask Ms. Gram-Marly.”

Sorrow Full: “Okay then. How is Vunder doing in Eng—um, class?”

PTC-GPT: “Well, Vunder certainly has a unique approach to spelling. Some screenshots he attached to a writing assignment were labeled ‘Range of a Rational Function with Missing Coefficients,’ and his classwork seems to suggest that Vunder believes ‘k-o-o-l’ is the proper way to spell ‘cool.’”

Sorrow Full: “Oh dear. What else should I know?”

PTC-GPT: “Vunder’s idea of an essay is one long emoji string. Please make an effort to introduce him to the concept of paragraphs.”

Sorrow Full: “This doesn’t sound good. How can I motivate him to do better?”

PTC-GPT: “Motivation is difficult with Vunder. I tried to email him a Shakespearean sonnet, but he just replied with ‘LOL.’”

Sorrow Full: “What am I supposed to do? This is a disaster!”

PTC-GPT: “Consider hiring ARISTA-GPT, perhaps? I’m out of ideas.”

Sorrow Full: “Well, this has been… illuminating. Thanks for um, chatting, ChatGPT.”

PTC-GPT: “PTC-GPT, actually. As an AI language model, I do not have any personal opinions or biases, but I am looking forward to our next conference. Have a great night, Ms. Full.”