Senior Prank Leaked

Do any of you remember when, a couple of years ago, the senior class played a prank by applying to BMCC and then not attending the school the following Fall? It went down as one of the most iconic in history, but then Stuyvesant students were banned from applying to BMCC. I’m bringing up this old prank because this year’s senior prank was leaked, and let’s just say that the seniors are in for a lot more trouble than when they learned they were banned from BMCC.

Sources inform me that the senior prank was for our class of seniors to switch places with the senior class of Brooklyn Technical High School. Each person was assigned to another person from the other school to swap with for the day. The prank seemed foolproof except for the countless times the fake seniors were caught asking freshmen for directions to their classes.

Due to the severity of the prank, Stuyvesant faculty investigated the senior class to find the conspirators who could have thought of something so abominable.

Principal Seung Yu said, “I’m disgusted by what I learned about this prank. I promise you, I will do everything in my power to bring the guilty party to justice.” It is reassuring to know that the principal is more concerned with the prank than with running the school. As a side note, how is Principal Yu bringing justice? In fact, what does he even do? I’m convinced that he just pops up in the most random places around the school and gets paid $200K to do it, but that’s an article for another day.

The faculty found a lead when they overheard a few seniors talking about who originally thought of this year’s prank. Allegedly, the prank sprouted its seeds at the Senior Bar during fourth period a few weeks ago.

This created a list of possible suspects, narrowed down to three individuals: James Durant, Kevin Harden, and Lebron Jordan. James Durant was removed from the suspect list after security camera footage showed him by the Hudson staircase trying to scare the people who dared to commit sinful acts. Kevin Harden was also proven innocent when he admitted to being at the Bar but only because he was trying to sell laced candy to the underclassmen. Harden may have been innocent of the crime, though I think it’s safer for all underclassmen to stay away from the dude. There was one left. Jordan cracked under pressure and exposed himself, nervously blurting out, “Okay, yes. I was there at the Senior Bar. I originally thought of the senior prank, and the idea spread when I posted it on my Instagram story because I got excited and wanted to show people that I’m a genius.” Jordan was charged with vandalism, and his punishment was expulsion and deportation to Staten Island Tech.

Now that the faculty has finally concluded their investigation and found the culprit behind the plan, only one question remains: Who reported the seniors? Who’s the snitch? Well, the whistle-blower… was me. I reported the senior prank. Fun fact: you can learn so much information when you accidentally lock yourself in a bathroom stall and spend the better half of your day listening to the people that walk into the bathroom. But hey, if I’m stuck at this school not having fun, no one else gets to have fun either.