Senior SING! Steals the Show!

Prepare for your heart to be moved, your mind to be excited, and your eardrums to be ruptured by feedback, because it’s time for Senior SING!.

The seniors, to the dismay of many audience members, failed to fix their microphones in time for the production. This shortcoming meant that many lines were kept a secret, and members of the audience were left wondering what was happening. What was going on with the wieners? Why were they talking about STDs? WHAT WAS HAPPENING?

North’s song about Montana’s death would have had us bawling—if not for the terrible mic screeches. We were too busy crying from the pain of our broken eardrums to be worrying about what was going on in the performance, not to mention empathizing with a character’s death.

If anything, Senior SING! should have been a rom-com instead. The cheesy lines had us all cringing so bad! Many revealed in an anonymous Google Form that they had wished to jump into the Hudson River to forget they had heard anything. ‘My puckering pineapple’? ‘My sweetest, most promising pomegranate’? What’s with all the nicknames??

The seniors also had some really interesting character names. I certainly wouldn’t want any of them to name my child. Like, North Dakota South? That’s enough to give anyone an identity crisis. The lead actress, Cynthia Tan, later admitted in an interview that she had multiple breakdowns during rehearsals: “So… am I North, or am I South? Why is this so confusing??”

Though the show had an interesting array of screeching tech, cringy lines, and confusing names, the seniors did a pretty decent job—as decent as they could in a high school show, anyway. They won because they deserved it… right?