SING: The Board Game is Coming to a Store Near You!

In just a few days, “SING: The Board Game” will be coming to stores near you! Over the past six weeks, hundreds of dedicated high schoolers at Senioritis Productions have been working on crafting a game that offers entertainment, education, and most importantly, destruction of friendships for all ages! The game has been playtested and scientifically proven fun (in a clinical trial of 8,000 friend groups, compared to Valorant control group). So, without further ado, let’s get into the game!

To start, obtain three players: a tiny child from your local pre-school playground, a crying teenager from Brooklyn Tech, and an old codger hobbling along the street (although if you can't find one, any student with enough built-up senioritis will do). These will represent your SophFrosh, Junior, and Senior teams! Each player chooses a token from the stash (some appealing choices include a broken microphone, a mini SING hoodie, and a singular ballet shoe that got lost on stage) and places it on the start area. To decide who goes first, simply count up the amount of brain cells in each player’s head. The person who has the least amount goes first!

On your turn, roll a miniature-sized version of the SING plaque to determine how far to move. Roll a “Senior SING” and your token advances three spaces. Rolling “Junior SING” will advance your token two spaces, and the dreaded “SophFrosh SING” side will push you back four spaces! If the plaque lands on the “Virtual SING 2021” side, you lose your turn and your token falls into the glitchy Zoom void, never to be seen again. But don’t worry; you can always choose another token and continue playing on your next turn. 

After moving your piece, you may find that you’ve landed on a penalty space, indicated by the giant minus signs all over the space. Such spaces include “Stalked an underclassman a lil’ too closely: -15 points,” “Spent too much rehearsal time drinking water: -10 points,” and “Mistakened a senior for a stepstool: -5 points.” These penalties add up as the game progresses, so make sure to keep close watch over your total amount of points. If this sum falls under -200 points, your grade’s Faculty Advisor figurine is summoned one space in front of yours. This figurine blocks your every turn, but can be escaped if you roll three of another SING’s icon in a row, which allows you to pretend to be a member of that SING!

Alternatively, you may also land on a “Sabotage” space. When you land on one of these spaces, you may draw a card and perform its action on another player! Some of these cards include “Dump a bucket of water on SophFrosh’s canvas and push them back ten spaces” and “Cough on Senior SING! cast members and spread sickness throughout Senior SING! -100 points for Senior SING!.” The game requires you to perform the action on the card, so if prompted, you must dump a bucket of water or cough on someone. Oh, and if the card is a targeted action towards yourself, you must take the penalty! (The art of coughing on yourself is one that the player masters with time).

Of course, what game would be complete without a few restart-from-the-beginning spaces? Land on any of these spaces, marked with explosions and leftover skull-and-crossbones emojis from Senior SING 2024, and you will get sent all the way back to the start! On top of that, you will also have to perform a punishment action, such as “Read the entire SophFrosh script without cringing at least 15 times,” “Don’t roast Senior SING 12 times in the first eight minutes of your performance,” and more.

To win the game, simply be the first player to make it to the end of the path!

Just kidding. It wouldn’t be fun if it were that easy, would it? After you make it to the end of the path, you must scour the streets of Tribeca for ten unwilling participants that seem to not have anything better to do for nine hours to judge your gameplay. Have all ten judges sit around your gameboard in a dimly lit basement while you perform goofy dance numbers with poorly recorded band accompaniments. If possible, try to break at least one glass item, to give a truly immersive and realistic SING experience. Once all the judges have either stormed out of the basement in disappointment or fainted from cringe, you win!

You can pre-order this game for only $25, $5 less than Friday or Saturday SING! Tickets! Pre-order here: https://bit.ly/43kJkbP. Happy gaming!