Spring Fever Strikes Stuyvesant

It’s spring at Stuyvesant, and Billy Chen is considered by many as scrawny, depressed most of the time, bashful, and pretty average. But with the recent change in weather, he has begun to participate in his classes, even staying after class to converse with his teachers. Although Billy was doing great in and outside of school, Billy then began to decline. He would spend the whole day outside playing basketball. After following this routine for a few days, Billy got extremely bored again.

This problem wasn’t Billy’s alone. The Stuyvesant nurse’s office has been overcrowded with students suffering from similar symptoms recently: feeling restless and lazy. Nurse Danielle has diagnosed these students with the notorious Spring Fever. “It’s a real threat to teenage well-being,” she said. “Although you won’t have an actual fever, there are good chances that you’d be bedridden, itching like crazy, or experiencing a real energy surge. Basically, you won’t be functioning normally, although I’m not saying many Stuy students do that on a daily basis anyway.” Nurse Danielle has also reported that she has been sending students away with placebo pills due to a skyrocketing demand for beds in the nurse’s office.

As an increasing number of students have been plagued with this disease, the classrooms have been going through a dramatic change. Teachers have reported that the majority of their classrooms remain empty and that those that show up have been displaying concerning amounts of manic behaviors. “I’ve never seen anything like this in my 20 years of teaching,” history teacher Dr. Berman said. “Students are putting in too much extra effort and work. They’re just piling stuff on my desk and cutting me off after every sentence to participate, all while half of the class is absent. It’s crazy!”

Indeed, many students are claiming they can’t come to class due to their deteriorating health. “I’ve never felt this feeling before. I feel so alive and functional and restless. It’s like I’m a whole different person. All I want to do is work!” said senior Joel Johnson, portraying some of the common symptoms.

“I’m completely baffled,” P.E. teacher Mr. Barbin said. “There have been no cuts or latenesses this whole week. Students are actually beginning to attend my class. They come extremely early before I even unlock the lockers. It’s as if they all realized the importance of Physical Education in their future lives. The best part is that they’re beginning to channel all this energy into their PSAL games. All our teams have won games this week. It’s insane!”

Although suffering from the same disease name of Spring Fever, everyone experiences different symptoms, which can be explained through science. The reason: change in daylight. According to AP Biology teacher Marianna Reep, the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. This hormone affects everyone in a different way, accounting for the different symptoms in each person.