Student Admitted to Meme Rehab After Near-Fatal Meme Overdose

Junior Daniel Ju was admitted to the Meme Rehabilitation Center on Saturday, April 1, after a meme overdose triggered by 29 hours of viewing memes non-stop. Ju was last seen waiting in line with many other fellow memers to be admitted to the center’s highly expensive, highly exclusive Meme Rehab for Millennials (MRM) Program.

Stuyvesant recommended the facility after several teachers noticed that Ju was talking to himself in a “Kermit” style voice. “There were lots of signs. One day [Ju] came into class and start uncontrollably dabbing while screaming that he was ‘dabbing through the galaxy.’ Another day, on a test, he would answer ‘Harambe’ to every problem,” Chemistry teacher Michael Orlando said.

Ju’s closest friends also noticed the dark changes he had undergone. Initially, Ju would occasionally share marginally humorous mainstream meme videos. However, over time, his fun pastime developed into a serious condition. He spent hours searching for the juiciest memes in the far corners of the Internet.

By the end, Ju had discovered every last meme on the Internet. At this point, Ju began to take drastic and clinically unhealthy measures: creating his own memes. He cultivated these memes to be funnier, more obscure, and more potent than other memes. “While the memes Ju shared on his Facebook wall had never really been funny, his own creations were even more wack,” sophomore George Shey said.

All the while, he was showing signs of a serious condition. Ju isolated himself from his friends and family, tagged classmates in an average of 257 different memes a day, and shared his “home-grown” memes, begging others to share them to increase his so-called Memer Fanbase.

Finally, Ju’s peers, teachers, and family members had enough. Ju was forced to attend the rehab facility by an “angery” (as he called them) mob. Minutes before his admission, he posted his one last call for help—his last meme: “Why are the meme police here?”

Unfortunately, few treatments are known for meme addiction. Awareness is at an all-time low for this fatal disease. Thus, most meme addiction cases go undiagnosed and untreated.

Fortunately, Ju’s specialists are already reporting rapid improvements, and he is expected to return to Stuyvesant soon. Doctors hope that Ju will be able to spend more time focusing on his 19 AP classes and less time “angery reacting” the various memes he views on Facebook.