Stuy Overheard

The 2022-2023 school year is coming to an end, and yet, the concerning comments from the people of Stuyvesant are not. Whether you are hanging out in your grade’s respective “spot” in the school, crying in the bathrooms, or overcrowding Whole Foods with a group of friends, there will always be at least one out-of-context comment that you hear that makes you question humanity. You all recounted those provoking overheard quotes, and I published them. 

“Are you bald? Because that was Mr. Clean.” —Cynthia Chang, senior

“Do you teach because you just weren’t good at anything else?” —anonymous

“I don’t scream, I just cry.” —Mr. Econome, biology teacher

“I’m not catching COVID or feelings for you.” —anonymous

“If my grandma had two wheels, she would have been a bike.” —Charles Li, junior

“I think with my uterus.” —a member of the 2020 Stuyvesant Math Team 

“If a boy’s hand is under the table, he’s doing one of two things.” —anonymous 

“Why wait for her when she’s not real?” —Ayron Thomas, senior 

“She’s pretty obedient.” —anonymous

“I love the way your lamé glitters in the moonlight.” (fencing rizz) —Gabby Vernik, sophomore

“Woos me. My hands are too tiny to pick up this fork. Pwes fweed mew dwaddy.” —anonymous

“Did you say your femur or humor is broken? Because I feel like both are.” —Dipashak Rajak, freshman

"This is not a class about circumcision." —anonymous

“Would you rather shake a baby or a milkshake in bed?” —Galvin Chen, freshman

“You always hear about grandma lifting a car off her grandchild.” —Mr. Econome, biology teacher

“You’re like a troll doll on acid.” —anonymous 

“Hold on. I am trying to give my dog diabetes.” —anonymous

“No, like, you don’t understand, his knees are so sexy I don’t know what to do.” —anonymous fourth-floor hallway dweller

“This type of sequence is called recursive. It’s like what happens when you repeat the fourth grade. In fourth grade, you learn cursive. When you repeat the fourth grade, you learn recursive.” —Mr. Wille, mathematics teacher

*to their dog* “I would pay to look like you HEHEHEHEHEHE.” —anonymous furry moment?

“I’m being silly now.” —Mr. Econome, biology teacher

Thank you to everyone who submitted quotes, and to those who submitted them anonymously… maybe that tells you something about yourself. :)