Stuyvesant Incoming Class: A Closer Look

Café Amore, a pizzeria between Greenwich and West Broadway on Chambers Street, has seen a 300 percent increase in patrons, corresponding to a trend seen by other usually unfashionable establishments such as Terry’s, the fifth floor cafeteria, and BMCC students selling candy to jumpstart their music careers. These new customers have been described as young teenagers, aged 13-14, with large JanSport backpacks, anime character profile pictures on Facebook, and an obsession with the online video game and salt mine “League of Legends.” They can be found in the sixth floor library, asking upperclassmen for the Wi-Fi password, or in the stairways making their way to the newly constructed 12th floor pool. They are the Stuyvesant Incoming Class of 2021, and they’re ready to take Stuyvesant by storm.

These new students come from all over the city and represent dozens of different countries, five different boroughs; they have a shared belief that they will be graduating as valedictorian, getting eight hours of sleep every night, and going to Harvard, while seeing their fellow 800 classmates as giant nerds.

One such student is freshman Noa Morris. Unlike the thousands of sophomores and upperclassmen at Stuyvesant High School, Morris was legitimately enthusiastic to be featured here in The Spectator.

Morris was found waiting in line at Terry’s, which she chose as her deli of choice over Gourmet Market, commonly dubbed “Fake Terry’s.” “The last thing I would want is something fake, whether it be a deli, clothing, or friends,” said Morris, while sporting a fake Obey hat and Supreme x Stuyvesant Student Union hoodie licensed solely by Student Union President Tahseen Chowdhury as an attempt to raise funds for his state senate campaign.

In her free time, Morris actively enjoys using the library computers to browse Reddit and post about what extracurriculars will help her get into college while a struggling junior desperately needs to finish his English paper. The aspiring student plans to graduate a year in advance, but is currently struggling due to a failing grade in swim gym.