Subtle Jewish Dating: Talia Kahan

With a new Spectator era comes a new SINGLE editor-in-chief (though both are hella valid 😍)! As for my wingwoman duties (which clearly have not been very successful… we don’t talk about those), it is my absolute pleasure to introduce everyone to the amazing

🐟Tilapia Kahan🐟

Age: 16

Height: 5 feet 7.25 inches (This .25 inch matters tremendously to Talia.)

Location: 💙 Spec room—she’s the one with the ~special~ chalkboard handwriting 💙

✔ Pros ✔:

First 🏆 singles in tennis 🎾 AND in real life (hit her up y’all, this girl is a catch 💚)

Encourages you to eat 🍇 healthy fruits 🍉 (even if they are frozen from Whole Foods)

Taps 👯 like there’s no tomorrow, so she can basically beatbox with her feet! Get someone musically talented in your life! 🎶

Uses high-quality emojis when texting that are sure to catch your 👀 eyes 🧐

Runs in the middle of a busy street to take aesthetic photos, so you know she’s willing to risk her life for you 🤩

Name sounds like Tilapia… 🍬 What a snack! 🍬

Absolute ✡mensch✡ (Jewish boys, where you at?) 🤧

❌Cons ❌:

Thought that 🏀 Kevin Durant 🏀 was a senior at Stuy (We blame her for any mistakes in Sports articles 🤦‍♀️, but we still love her 💜!)

Takes four months to give you your birthday present 😳

Is prone to dropping her phone in random places. 🤷‍♀️ Take care of her, please. 🙏 Really.

“Occasionally” takes 24+ hours to 💬 respond to messages 💬

Loses her 👒 hat 👒 every ten days (if she is lucky)

🤡 Forgets the password to her Netflix account 🤡 (so much for Netflix and chill) ❌♋