The “Holiday Season”

School has barely started, which means that everyone is already thinking of winter break. However, as much as I would like to daydream about Christmas and a whole week of not doing anything (which seems impossible right now), the big corporate retailers have decided otherwise. They seem to live in the future, because they have no sense of time whatsoever. I can’t go to any store without seeing Halloween things and occasionally, pumpkin spice dog toys. The image is infuriating; I just want to enjoy my bland September and October in peace. Next thing you know, they’re all going to start selling Christmas stuff in July.

Some might say, “But Amy, by incorporating this genius business technique, everyone has more time to buy stuff!” Look, no one needs three months to buy at most 10 things, especially when those 10 things will find themselves in my garbage can at the end of January. And if you’re saying you’re doing this for the procrastinators, they are the last people who will ever buy things three months in advance. You can bet that they will hit the stores on October 30 for Halloween this year, find nothing, and go as a bedsheet ghost for the fifth year in a row. Or, if you’re special, you’ll buy a jumbo bag of candy and silently eat it in your bedroom, simultaneously avoiding people and saving money on that much candy (you do you). But to those corporate megachains we all know and love (?), please, sell holiday things when it is actually time for that holiday; right now, y’all look dumb. Thanks.