The Joker Emerges as Frontrunner in New York Mayoral Race

New Yorkers will head to the polls in November to vote on the next mayor. Many are dissatisfied with the current administration’s handling of the migrant crisis and homelessness, and thus seek change. However, with all the candidates embroiled in some type of scandal, it’s hard to look forward to the election. Voters will struggle to identify the least controversial option, let alone someone who won’t mismanage the city’s finances and public services. 

Amidst all this uncertainty, a new underdog’s campaign has been gaining steam. Dubbed by many as the “wild card candidate,” the Joker has surged in popularity, with a recent poll conducted by The Spectator showing that 61 percent of respondents plan on voting for him. He also enjoys broad bipartisan support from 79 percent of registered Democrats and 55 percent of registered Republicans. Respondents cited public safety, education, and affordability as their main concerns, and 64 percent believed that the Joker would “put the city back on the right track.”

In a fiery speech atop the Empire State Building, the Joker branded himself as both a fiercely independent “man of the people” and a member of the “OG Green Party.” He criticized state and federal politicians for their inaction and corruption, calling New York elected leaders “easily bribeable.” After presenting statistics on rising prices and crime, he proceeded to outline his solutions, inviting members of the public to voice their concerns over a TikTok live stream. 50 million people joined, ranging from bored teenagers to technologically-challenged senior citizens. However, many called the virtual town hall “an unprofessional stunt,” with Lois Lane of the Daily Planet dismissing it as “trivial attention-seeking.”

When asked about his plans to combat increased lawlessness, the Joker unveiled a revolutionary torture system in which a criminal is forced to listen to “Baby Shark” on repeat. He projects the new tactic would reduce crime by 200 percent on the basis that “torment is the best deterrent.” In addition to adopting a tough-on-crime approach, he also pledged to lower taxes for the middle and working class while tripling taxes on “stuck-up millionaires like Bruce Wayne.” With more income tax revenue, the Joker plans to invest heavily in the DOE, promising to raise the next generation of accomplished mini-Jokers.

After his speech, every day New Yorkers took to Facebook, praising his competence, clean record, and approachability:

“These days, NYC feels like an asylum. With the Joker’s experience, I feel confident he can fix things,” Joan Arkham from Brooklyn wrote. Arkham, a nurse at a Canarsie psychiatric ward, demonstrated her appreciation for the Joker’s zero tolerance for crime by dressing a cardboard cutout of him in a police costume. She then proceeded to kiss the cutout and proclaim it her “hubby mayor.” 

“Unlike Mayor Adams, the Joker can resist the temptation of Turkish delights,” Kay Oss from Manhattan said. When asked by The Spectator to elaborate, Oss explained over Zoom that the Joker is extremely trustworthy and would never intentionally deceive people. “We don’t even know where Adams lives! The Joker would never do us dirty like that!” she exclaimed. 

“Our state politicians are horny and corrupt villains. Finally, a sane person!” Jack Indebochs from Staten Island argued.

Former Governor Andrew Cuomo responded, “I’m not that corrupt!” to Indebochs’s scathing comment. However, his impulsive reaction soon backfired. Pfizer, a major donor and manufacturer of Viagra, which he has long promoted, halted all contributions and severed contact with his campaign.

May Hem from the Bronx noted, “I met him the other day near Yankee Stadium. Quite a nice guy, always smiling.” Hem, a Woodlawn-based orthodontist, also complimented the Joker’s “big chompers,” saying that they make him look “positive and wholesome.”

“As an employee working for a mom-and-pop clothing store, I can confidently say both his makeup and economic plan slay!” Marla Meime from Manhattan wrote. Meime, a downtown fashion designer at Balenciaga, plans on releasing the “Joker Look,” a clothing line that includes a purple suit made out of a repurposed trash bag, lipstick made from crushed ladybugs, and lead-white makeup. The use of natural and organic ingredients, she explains, represents his down-to-earth and honest personality. 

“Unlike the clownish city government, the Joker will finally bring law and order back to the City,” asserted Kurt Jesterr from Queens. The Spectator has verified Jesterr’s assertion after cleaning crews discovered balloon animals and unicycles on the floor of City Hall. 

Despite this outpouring of support, the Joker has drawn heavy criticism from his high-profile political opponents. Cuomo labeled the Joker as a “dangerous, twisted old creep who belongs in a nursing home.” Eric Adams, the current mayor, called the Joker “two-faced and as inauthentic as his fake green wig” during a fundraising event in Brooklyn. In response to the disrespect, the Joker clapped back on X with the two-word tweet “You’re projecting.”

Batman could not be reached for comment.