The Labyrinthian Mind: Emptying Clutter… but for What?

Welcome to my fireside chat that happens to take place in a school newspaper! I’d introduce myself, but my name is already on the byline. In our first and only episode, we’ll talk about life and how we as humans can break free from the pain that it gives us.

So, let’s talk about me. Personally, life pains me extremely often. From college rejection letters to former co-editors threatening me to write on time (my second draft was done four days after it was due, so HAH!), I’d probably be dead right now if it wasn’t for one thing: meditation.

Meditation? You might be asking, “what the fudge nuggets is that?” ArE yOu fOrCiNg ReLiGiOuS bElIeFs dOwN oUr ThRoAt, HuH?

Okay, you know those breathing exercises your mom has to do to calm herself down after finding out that you came home three hours after curfew? Well, meditation is sort of like that. Think of it as the closest chance you’ll get to being a phoenix. You get beaten up and die, but then you’re born anew. Having removed tons of meaningless clutter, my only regret is not discovering meditation sooner.

Let’s start. Imagine that it’s your birthday, and your family gave you the most beautiful birthday cake ever. Who cares if they used some of your college fund to buy this cake? It’s so good that even that sort of embezzlement would seem to be a bargain. There’s just one teensy tiny problem:

Your uncle Jack decided to blindfold you, preventing you from seeing your very own cake. However, this dude didn’t just use one blindfold like a normal person. He put like 10 on your face, including a plague doctor mask and five layers of blankets. Talk about overkill!

Freaking out is clearly not the right option, as it would probably lead to suffocation. The most important thing is to be calm. So sit as properly as you can with your feet on the floor and arms and hands on your legs. Think of everything that’s bothering you, whether it be the coverage your uncle gave you or the yearning for that cake. Take a few deep breaths. Then, slowly close your eyes.

When they are shut, try to notice your surroundings from a new perspective. Listen to the sounds around you. Touch your lap. Wiggle your toes. Breathe more. Connect with life physically.

After all is said and done, what does your mind want to do? Transcend beyond this mortal plane and reach enlightenment. Listen to Beelzebub’s voice and obey his command.

Now, return back into your mortal shell. Blindly observe your surroundings. Breathe slowly. Regain the senses in your hands, fingers, legs, toes, 207th bone (if you have one ;)), and anything else. Open your eyes.

This is analogous to removing all of the covering to see the cake. You know splendor and wonder exist, but perhaps your thoughts dampen it at times, reducing the noticeability of said splendor and wonder. The mask, blankets, and blindfolds obscure your view of the cake. But after all is said and done, the effort will be rewarding and relaxing.

Now go out there, champ. Make the most out of your life no matter what it brings you. I believe in you.