The Spirit Week Report

We at the Humor department could write about our many thoughts on Stuyvesant’s Schoolwide Spirit Week, but that would make the entire Spectator run out of money, and that’s bad because Olly has to support his family with Biz’s funds and we can’t just waste all of that dough on printing words. So, we had to settle on the second best thing: an extensive coverage of Spirit Week.

Stuy Apparel Day:

The Student Union (SU) decided to kick off their first Stuy-Wide Spirit Week by treating it like any other day. The Great Lord Willy Wang deemed Tuesday, May 28, as Stuy Apparel Day, and students were encouraged to flaunt their Stuy merch.

“It’s Spirit Week? What’s that?” commented sophomore Macy Greene, sporting her Humans of Stuy hoodie over her Stuyle tee. “I just threw on the first thing I found in my closet this morning.”

Evidently, this day raised school spirit by just over 999 percent, as it was the deciding factor for nine freshmen to not hate on their school for the next four years. One other freshman reported being “proud to attend Stuyvesant High School” and that he “would do anything for my main man Pegleg Pete,” he said.

It is important to note the astounding amount of freshmen who had been seen wearing their physical education (Not gym! Gym is for peasants) uniforms around the school. Their school pride could be seen everywhere. Father Contreras was so moved by this movement that he, too, had decided to purchase this stunning piece of self-expression.

Preppy Day:

This particular day had been marred by controversy ever since its inception. Vishwaa Sofat proposed the day, supposedly to promote something close to the SU’s personal sense of style. This came with an immediate backlash by the goth and emo kids of Stuyvesant, who felt that it was an insensitive response by the SU to their conflict with the preppy kids.

“This, my friend, is UNFAIR,” a senior said. “At best, it’s insensitive to the decades-long conflict between us, the goths, and them, the preps! At worst, it’s the SU deciding to openly support the preps! And the school lets them?”

Surprisingly, some preppy kids were also against the motion. “This is cultural appropriation of prep culture,” a junior said. “You can’t just co-opt our lifestyle of golf clubs and polo shirts for some plebeian ‘Spirit Week’ day! This is an outright act of aggression by the Student Union!”

When the day came, there were visible tensions between the kids who came dressed as preps and the kids who came dressed as goths. In the beginning of the day, it wasn’t so bad. They kept a stern distance of 10 feet apart, which was hell for classes, but otherwise it wasn’t so bad.

It wasn’t until third period that a fight broke out on the half floor, and after that it was pure chaos. A color war between the colors pink and black overwhelmed the school. No one was safe.

Meme Day:

The third day of this pitiful week was hyped up to be the greatest attempt of SU relatability to students.

Well, that was what I thought until apparently no one pulled anything off with Meme Day. Armed with my Minecraft diamond ore, Shaggy clothes, Ricardo cap, and some goggles, I was deeply disappointed to find out that pretty much no one was doing anything for this day. It sucked.

Color Wars:

The week ended with Color Wars. On this day, people would dress with a different color for each grade. Reports say that the reason it was enacted was because multiple upperclassmen who were under 60 inches were constantly banging on the SU office, demanding a solution for the fact that they kept getting called freshmen.

The SU’s solution was a Color War. Black for freshmen, purple for sophomores, blue for juniors, and red for seniors. One noticeable occurrence was that very few sophomores participated, many giving the excuse that “who the [explicative] has purple clothes?”