What the Sterrs SHOULD Have Named Their Child

Renee Kim blessed the Humor department and the world on April 29 with the greatest idea since the beginning of time: that it was our Holy Duty to take the initiative and come up with a legendary name for what will surely be a legendary human being. That future legend, composed of 17 percent human material and 96 percent pure mathematics, was born on May 5. Tragically, May and Brian Sterr did us horrendously dirty by wasting the opportunity of a lifetime and giving him a completely normal name. Here are a few examples of what it could have been:

Polye Sterr
Lacklu Sterr
Young Sterr
Dump Sterr
Gang Sterr
Hip Sterr
Ham Sterr
Disa Sterr
Mon Sterr
Roo Sterr
Ghost B. Sterr
Lob Sterr (see also: Oi Sterr)
Twinkle Twinkle Little Sterr
Holli Sterr (is 4 basics)
Go FaSterr I’m gonna be late for school
Toasterr (strudel)
Filibu Sterr
Weather ForeCa Sterr
IPrayYourFatherWillPassMeThis Seme Sterr
Mayor DeBlasio Keeps Schools Open After Yet Another Nor’ea Sterr
Pop quiz: Which U.S. President Was Famously Known as a Trustbu Sterr
Brian Moran: Harve Sterr of cell phones
I’m failing physics: What is a Resi Sterr
Live long and Pro Sterr
Math Gives Me a Stomach Ul Sterr
Turkey Ba Sterr
(That Girl) is the Gun to My Hol Sterr

(And because we got a little over-excited about the Sterr puns)

The Fault In Our STERRs
Sterrivative
Sterrlock
Sterr oid
Unsterrappreciated
Sterrvival of the fittest
Sterr Fry
Sterrio Hearts (Feat. Adam Levine)
Sterr num
Sterrbucks
Sterrp Yourself
HySTERRical
Sterriously
Yesterrday
(all my troubles seemed so faaaarrrrrr awayyyyyyy)
Sterrm und Drang
Eggs are fertilized by the Sterrm Cell
Masterrbation
Masterrchism
MasterrCard
Basterrd

And finally, what you’re all thinking:
Please Exsterrminate These Puns.