What You Missed At Spectator Recruitments

For everyone who missed the Spectator Recruitments, shame on you. Allow me to just gloat about it and make y’all feel terrible.

First off, let’s take a look at me—yes, me, not-funny Humor editor! If you write for the Spectator, you can be 98.7491 percent as awesome as me! (You’ll never be just as awesome as me though—only my imaginary friends can.)

At Recruitments, we had 290 boxes of pizza and roughly seven million munchkins. We weren’t kidding when we said that there would be food— in fact, we were planning to hold y’all hostage until you bought a slice of pizza for $99.99. Unfortunately, there was no food allowed in the library, so we had to toss the idea.

Then came our wonderful lil’ spiels about each department! They were so captivating and exciting that everybody was out of it by the third department. It was just too intense!

Unfortunately, that meant that no one got to see the best parts of our Recruitments. They missed Pablo Picasso, whom Art had brought back to life just for Recruitments. Then, they missed “The Life of Journalists,” the latest Kanye album which he released at Recruitments.

Most importantly, they missed President Donald Trump, who took the opportunity to praise Humor for all of our positive coverage. “Humor is YUUUUGGEE! It’s amazing, believe me,” Trump declared. “CNN, The New York Times, even the News department of The Spectator—they’re all very, very, very terrible. No more fake news!”