Will You Marry Me?

We’ve all had rom-com-worthy moments of romantic tension in our everyday lives. It could be a  split second of eye contact on the sidewalk, or hands brushing as you and someone else both reach for the same book. But what does it mean? Are they simply awkward coincidences, or something more? Is that hot goth girl on the train really your soulmate? Romance is complicated (believe me, I know), so I’ve provided you with a complete, foolproof guide on how to tell if random strangers are actually in love with you!

They sit next to you on the bus

It’s a dreary Monday morning, and you’ve begun your arduous commute to school. You’re already regretting your decision to wake up this morning when suddenly, a beautiful stranger enters the bus. They look around for a moment before decidedly taking a seat right next to you. Your heart skips a beat; out of the whopping two empty seats on this bus, they chose to sit with you! The stars have aligned. The two of you are destined to be together forever. Bonus points if they get off at the same stop as you (desperate much?). 

They start looking at their phone

Okay, so maybe your soon-to-be lover didn’t choose a seat next to you. It happens. The MTA is a busy place. However, upon making 0.0001 second of eye contact with you (another obvious sign of affection), they immediately look down at their phone. This can only mean one thing: they’re texting all their friends, family, coworkers, and in-laws about how attractive you are. Then, they’re probably going to look you up on every social media platform. Better yet, they might already be planning your wedding!

They order the same beverage as you

You’re in line at Starbucks for your daily Pumpkin Spice Latte. After paying for your drink, you hear the person behind you order a Pumpkin Spice Latte as well. You gasp. Did your ears deceive you? No, you’ve simply found your soulmate. Chances are, this person has fallen completely head-over-heels for you and is now subconsciously replicating your every behavior, right down to your choice of coffee.

They file a restraining order

Now, this may not seem like an excellent signal, but just trust us. Let’s say you’ve encountered your mysterious lover quite a few times now. Maybe you awkwardly wave at them on the train every morning or walk right next to them on the street. If you’re really adventurous, maybe you’ve even tried your hand at a marriage proposal. If so, chances are your lover is now actively trying to avoid you. In fact, they may have even filed a restraining order that prevents you from being within a 50-foot radius of them. Don’t fret! This just means they’re playing hard to get. (Bonus points if they call 911 every time they see you. It’s because they like you so much that your presence sends them into cardiac arrest!) Keep your spirits up, and soon enough, they’ll accept your engagement ring.

Now, be free! Your soulmate is waiting for you in Walgreens!

(Editor’s note: Please do not follow and harass innocent civilians. Even if they have really pretty hair.)