World Cup Time

The 2022 FIFA World Cup has started, bringing excitement, suspense, and suspiciously long bathroom breaks that coincidentally overlap with game-deciding penalty kicks.

The football event has been extremely publicized, finding a receptive audience in the Stuyvesant High School student body and faculty. A viral photo of two players, Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi, was posted ahead of the games on Instagram, where it amassed 40 million likes. However, what was much more shocking was the reaction of a certain school official.

Upon viewing the post, Principal Yu reportedly fell to his knees on the bridge in a weeping mess, clasped his hands in prayer, and started mumbling nonsensical ramblings under his breath. According to a source, he stayed this way for several minutes.

A few days later, an e-mail was sent out by Yu, containing nothing but an attached image. Depicted were Principal Yu and Mr. Moran, sitting on opposite ends of a chess board, in a seemingly perfect recreation of the iconic photograph. The subject line simply read, “Ice cold.”

The World Cup has also caused tension within school classrooms. Physics teacher Eugene Majewski, a passionate Poland fan, was following the Poland vs. Mexico match on Tuesday. However, when Polish striker Robert Lewandowski missed the game-winning penalty, Dr. Majewski was unable to continue watching. Instead, he threw his hands up in the air and loudly proclaimed that Lewandowski had forgotten his projectile motion, vowing that the unit would appear on the next test.

There were also worries surrounding fractures in the student body as a result of conflicting nationalities in the tournament. A survey was conducted to evaluate potential hostilities; however, these concerns were unfounded because of the 100 student responses, there were only three different countries represented in the poll.

The recent increase of media attention on football has also affected audience turnout at the Stuyvesant boys’ varsity soccer games. At a recent home game, a record 16 students showed up in support.

“It was thrilling,” a player said after the match. “But they don’t tell you about the pressure out there. With the spotlights and a dozen eyes on me, I knew I had to play my best.”

Though we are only a week into the World Cup as of the writing of this article, excitement is high. However, if you want marginally more accurate coverage of the event, I encourage you to read the Sports article on it; this article was informed almost entirely by TikTok clips that appeared on my FYP.