Dear Incoming Class of 2021…We Don’t Really Have Advice!

With every new school year comes a new wave of extremely helpful posts in the “Dear Incoming Class of 2021...We Have Advice!” Facebook group. As the incoming freshmen excitedly pack their wheelie bags full of thick three-ring binders, veteran Stuyvesant students search their brains for prime advice to give.

The freshmen have been bombarded with extremely useful advice such as “Stuy sucks, transfer out” and “hey guys, join the slime club.” While 99 percent of the posts in the Class of 2021 group are completely necessary and not at all redundant, every once in a while, some rising sophomore makes a totally hilarious joke about bringing a tent to Camp Stuy.

Another type of post that is common in the Facebook group is advertisements for sports teams. “Whenever I’m feeling depressed about college apps, I go into the 2021 advice group and make a post about the cross country team to cheer myself up,” senior Amy Ren said. “I mean, I can only write seven Common App drafts a day before feeling like I’m a failure, amiright?”

Nevertheless, freshmen often ask questions on how to join sports teams or other clubs. “I know there have been 13 other posts about the swimming team, but I have a rare psychological disorder that prevents me from scrolling down,” freshman Leo Yuan said. “It’s called being a little s***.”

For some upperclassmen, the incoming class group is not seen so much as a helpful tool for freshmen, but as a source of fun. “When I see a naive and innocent post by a hopeful freshman, I can’t help but tear it apart and laugh,” sophomore Eugene Seo said. “One time I saw this girl ask ‘how do I make friends at Stuy,’ so I commented ‘you don’t HA GOT EM AYY LMAO WHOMST IS THIS SCRUB’ along with a picture of the freshman’s head as a fidget spinner. Then, I gave myself a high five every time someone liked my comment.”

Another popular question found in the advice group is: “What type of school supplies should I buy?” In response, several upperclassmen have answered with “just continually mooch paper and pencils off your classmates until they eventually shun you.”