Daniel Knopf (daniel-knopf)

dknopf [ at ] stuy [ dot ] edu

Kidnapped Student Receives Only Streaks Snaps

Kidnapped student sends plea for help over Snapchat, gets only streak snaps in return.

Issue 15, Volume 108

Choubaralian Creates New Heelying Class

Choubaralian replaces the rollerblading class with a Heelying class

Issue 15, Volume 108

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UNlikely Letters

Colleges Send Unlikely Letters To Students They Hate

Issue 12, Volume 108

Teacher Warning Calls

A list of warning calls for different teachers

Issue 12, Volume 108

Senior Accepted Early to College Can’t Have Fun for Fear of Being Rescinded

A senior accepted early to college is too afraid of being rescinded to have fun second semester.

Issue 9, Volume 108

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Senior Ecstatic After Having Whole Conversation Without Mentioning College

“I waited with bated breath in anticipation of being asked where I was planning on applying early.” —Eugene Thomas, senior

Issue 3, Volume 108

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Dear Incoming Class of 2021…We Don’t Really Have Advice!

A summary of the totally useful and helpful posts that are in the “Dear Incoming Class of 2021...We Have Advice!” Facebook group.

Issue 1, Volume 108

Student Surprised by Angery Reaccs on Post of Exact Grades

A Stuy student is genuinely surprised when people attack him for posting his exact grades on facebook.

Issue 16, Volume 107

Damesek Accepts Michael Espinosa’s Promposal!

After Randi Damesek accepts Michael Espinosa’s promposal, the two end up getting married and living in suburban Nantucket with their seven children and their minivan.

Issue 15, Volume 107

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PTC Evasion Methods

Daniel Knopf, Katie Wu

In order to prevent their parents from realizing what a disappointment they raised, students have developed several strategies to make sure their parents never even meet their teachers.

Issue 12, Volume 107

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