Damesek Accepts Michael Espinosa’s Promposal!

When Assistant Principal of Organization Randi Damesek agreed to go to prom with senior Michael Espinosa, she had no idea that she would soon fall in love with the plucky senior and end up marrying him, having seven kids, moving to Nantucket, buying a 2008 Honda, and driving their seven children to soccer.

Espinosa’s promposal to Damesek was a shock to everyone, especially Damesek herself. “Michael asking Damesek to prom was one of the most surprising announcements I had ever heard,” sophomore Alexa Valentino said. “The only other announcement as unbelievable as Michael’s was when someone said that the Peglegs had actually won a game.”

Even more startling than Espinosa’s promposal was Damesek’s reply: a resounding yes. “When I first heard Michael’s question, I was aghast that a student would have the audacity to ask me to prom,” Damesek commented. “After some thinking, however, I realized that going to prom would allow me to try out my new megaphone, the ILoveTheSoundOfMyVoice2000, so I said yes.”

When Espinosa and Damesek turned up to prom wearing matching pantsuits and grimaces, everyone there realized a new power couple had just been formed. “After seeing Damesek and Espinosa party together, I now know what to comment on the ‘name a more iconic duo, I’ll wait’ memes,” junior Jacqueline Cao said.

As the epic night drew to a close, Espinosa shocked everyone once again by asking Damesek to marry him. Onlookers somehow managed to be even more shocked, however, when Damesek said yes. “After seeing her hide in a closet for 45 minutes to just scream at some kids for making out, I knew she was the one for me,” Espinosa said.

The happy couple now lives in a timeshare in Nantucket with their seven children: pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth.