Overheard at the Thanksgiving Table

Wackiest, out of pocket things heard over the Thanksgiving dinner table:

“My grandma got a new boyfriend.” —anonymous, sophomore

“I originally got the guy to get me a 16-pound turkey and it was exactly as heavy as I wanted. Then, he switched it for a lighter one. I didn’t know how to tell him that I wanted the one from before, so I suffered for several minutes before remembering that [my cousin] Jason speaks English and was home. So I called him [and put him on speaker] and I finally got my turkey back.” —Jenny Tan, sophomore

“My dad said this after talking about an Asian actress: ‘Well, I mean, if you went into acting, the only roles you’d get are Pocahontas and Mulan because when you braid your hair you look Native American.’” —anonymous, senior

“The cat burned his tail on the candle.” —Abigail Rees, senior

“Mom spilled root beer on my $5,000 jersey! Can I punish her?” —Terrence Liao, sophomore

“I heard a story about how my aunt cut my cousin’s hair while she was asleep and [my cousin] refused to leave her room for two weeks.” —Raaita Anwar, sophomore

“My uncle said that my cousin should drown because he didn’t know how to swim.” —anonymous, junior

“I think the wackiest thing was either ‘I don’t like seafood’ or when my friend told me he had a cat.” —Yoonha Shim, sophomore

“Dawg, I am Chinese. I don’t do Thanksgiving.” —Shiqi Chen, junior

“Deep frying a frozen turkey makes it explode.” —Aiden Tan, junior

“My aunts were talking about where they would add a bathroom in the house, and each direction my aunt pointed to wouldn’t work. So the final direction she pointed to was toward the sunroom. And she was like, ‘Oh, then I guess the only place where you can put it is—’ and my other aunt shouted, ‘THE SUNROOM’ and everyone laughed.” —Joline Huang, senior

“The end of the world is coming, and we all need to get two extra passports.” —Bella Rosen, junior