We Are Thankful for This Title!

It’s no doubt that 2020 has truly been an extraordinary year. Whether it be the rampaging Australian wildfires, the onslaught of “murder hornets” in the U.S., or the devastation caused by locust swarms in Africa and Asia, 2020 has certainly been eventful. In fact, it was so eventful that you probably forgot all of these existed until now. And who could forget the deadly COVID-19 pandemic to top it all off, like a little maraschino cherry on a parfait of death and destruction? Now, Thanksgiving is just right around the corner, and you might be thinking to yourself, “What on Earth could I possibly be thankful for this year?” Well, fear not: The Spectator is here to share a few silver linings of the chaotic storm that is 2020.

No Social Interaction!

Yes, the coronavirus has closed all our favorite restaurants and maybe even put a few out of business. Yes, the economy’s in a pretty terrible spot. And yes, over a million people worldwide have succumbed to the virus. But hey, since we’re in quarantine, we don’t have to go to school. Well, in person at least. Oh, what about remote learning, you say? Ah yes, that’s pretty annoying… but for those of you who don’t live near Stuyvesant, you don’t need to commute to school anymore! No more having to wake up before the sun rises and sitting in crowded subways next to strangers who clip their toenails on the train. Wait a minute, that’s it! Be thankful that because of quarantine, you no longer have to risk the encounter of dirty, wild, nail-clipping old men. If that’s not something to be thankful for, then we don’t know what is.

Climate Change and Early Summer Vacation?!

Well, how bad could the wildfires actually be? I mean, we have plenty of wildfires all the time! Oh? Hmm, it seems I’ve just been informed by our editor that tens of millions of acres have been lost, one billion animals have died, and now hundreds of species need emergency intervention to avoid extinction. Now, that sounds pretty bad, and it probably is, but if you think about it, this just means that everything in Australia that is out to kill you is also probably dead! That, and a bunch of carbon dioxide has been released into our atmosphere, so to everyone who wants summer to come earlier this year, your wish has been granted. Thank you, climate change! :D

That One Guy Who Slid Into Your DMs Last Weekend!

Ah yes, that one guy who slid into your DMs last weekend. Having someone use the lyrics of “Call Me Maybe” as a pick-up line was an absolutely unforgettable experience. It is truly unfortunate that you shall remember this sad attempt at trying to get a date for the rest of your life, but all experiences are valuable and worthy of reflection! So, what have you learned? You learned you have higher standards than that and you deserve better than that poor excuse of a suitor. At least you know someone finds your naked morning face and bedhead attractive in Zoom calls. Let’s hope they didn’t screenshot your video, though. That’s just creepy.

Your Group Chat!

Though quarantine may have made you allergic to social interaction and sunlight, it’s also heightened your ability to perceive emotions through text messages. This, combined with your group chat, has taught you how to be sympathetic toward others in the same situation as you, whether it be with the three other students staying up until 4:00 a.m. finishing a project or with your peers as you all share the same mutual disappointment of failure as your teacher announces another failing class test average. But hey, as Troy Bolton preaches in High School Musical, we are all in this together, so you might as well cherish it.

The Sedentary Lifestyle!

Athletes are among those who have suffered the most this quarantine. With many gyms closed, most PSAL sports teams canceled, and the majority of our days spent slouched over our laptops for like 10+ hours a day, the only gains you’ll be having are weight gains. But maybe all we need to do is shift our perspectives. Fitness is a thing of the past; being sedentary is the new lifestyle now. Be proud of your body image; forget Chloe Ting. And instead of focusing on all the terrible habits you’re developing, take a look at all the bad habits you’re leaving behind! With most restaurants closed, you’re not only saving money but also NOT gaining that extra weight.

Video Games!

To be honest, video games have been the source of our sanity for the past few months of quarantine, and they have also taught us some valuable life skills, such as how to deceive your companions (by backstabbing them, literally!), how to successfully hide a body behind a large rock to get away with murder, or how to master the art of lying. And since our exposure to the toxic and competitive culture of Stuyvesant has diminished with remote learning (*cough* shameless plug check out The Quaranzine *cough*), many students have looked to video games as an alternative outlet for their stressful and toxic behavior (we see you, mastery 7 Yasuo mains). And those who say “video games are bad” clearly haven’t had the experience of self-discovery that comes with competitive online MOBA games. Not only are you fortifying your mind but also discovering your personal boundaries. You learn that some games are simply unwinnable and that it’s ok to /ff at 15; “gg, go next” is a philosophy that all should embrace.

You, Our Readers <3

If you still can’t decide, let us share what we’re most thankful for this year: you. We’re serious. Yes, you, our lovely, wonderful, charming, hot, sexy, intelligent, heavenly, borderline godly—wait no, scrap that. You ARE godly and absolutely AmAziNg (You see that alliteration? We did that for you) readers. We wanted to take this moment to tell you guys how much we appreciate that people actually read our content! Remember that in these difficult times, no matter how terrible things may seem and how hopeless you may feel, please remember to tell yourself that you are worth it! You are what matters most! If anything were to come out of 2020, it’d be you. You made it, you’re here, and you should always be thankful for who you are. Anyway, we really appreciate you being here. Thanks for coming along for the ride, and we hope you’ll stay along for whatever 2021 inflicts upon us.